Whoa. Thirty years. It didn't really sound like that much until I read it just now as I typed the title of this post. Thirty years. Crazy.
I think it is safe to say that lots of people freak out about turning 30, or at least lots of people think you should freak out about it. And while it suddenly strikes me as a rather imposing number, I find myself at thirty years plus a couple days and still not in freak out mode. What is crazy to me is that I'm already here - a grown woman, an adult, an academic, a mother (and the list goes on). How did I reach this milestone so quickly?
The infamous "they" always say: "You're only as old as you feel." If that's the case, I'll be 25 for a long time. I'm over the whole 21 thing...still like my wine and occasional beer, but partying and staying out all night at the bars has long since lost its appeal. I think I have children to thank for that! Now I'm so darn tired all the time that a perfect night would mean bed at 10:00 p.m. and no interruptions until 6:30 a.m. - but let's be honest - it may be years before I see that happen again!
So I guess you could say parts of me feel, on some especially tired days - again, thanks to children -, not 30 but more more like 85. "What are you, 85?!" was one of my favorite sayings in college and yes, some days, when I want to eat dinner at 5:00 and go to bed at 7:30, I am. But my spirit, I believe, has settled at 25. That was an age that I found to be just the right mix of maturity, fun and athletic ability. I would like to retain all of that, thank you very much, so 25 I shall be. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to lie about my age...it just means I won't always act my given age.
Since this is a milestone birthday, I thought it deserved a little reflection. So here are thirty random lessons, observations, and whatnots that I have learned about life and myself in the last thirty years....
1) What's in a name? To me, a lot. From the time in elementary school when I decided I would be "Jenni with an 'I'" to three years ago when I decided I would be Mama instead of Mommy, the names I go by are significant to me.
2) Doing something scary can be very beneficial. Ten years ago, I bungee jumped over Victoria Falls. In the time since, I have told myself more than once, "You jumped off a bridge. You can do ______!" More recently I use, "You gave childbirth - twice - without drugs. You can do ________!"
3) Babies aren't so scary. Before I had Harrison I was never too keen to hold new babies because I found them to be too breakable and, well, terrifying. Now I love to get in a snuggle with a new baby because I know how sweet and accepting they really are.
4) I will probably never drive a stick shift. I can name at least three different people who have tried to teach me this skill in the last 15 years and by golly, I just can't do it. This doesn't really bother me. I am perfectly content to continue driving automatics!
5) It is probable that I will get more tattoos. Sorry, Mom! I have three so far and I have a feeling that more may come once I'm done having children. Seeing as my current tattoos are representations of BIG, important things in my life, I find it only fitting that my family is represented as well.
6) I'm a Mac. Never knew it until I taught public school at Palmer and was issued my first MacBook, but sure enough - I LOVE Apple computers.
7) Running makes me feel like a warrior. I may not have the best form or be the fastest one out there, but running always makes me feel strong. I haven't been in a running routine since I started having babies and probably won't get back to it until I'm done, but someday I'll regain my warrior status, promise.
8) I'm a damn fine cookie maker. For years I have been bribing and thanking people with homemade cookies - mostly my mom's wonderful chocolate chip recipe.
9) South Dakota and Africa hold my heart. Funny combination? You bet. But both places shaped me in ways unimaginable and I will always long to return to both again and again.
10) Love at First Sight is possible. Well, maybe I should call it Knowing at First Sight. I knew the very first night I met Ben that I would marry him. How I knew this, I have no idea. I guess it felt like I had already known him forever so it just seemed right that we spend forever together.
11) Books will always be my crack. As a kid I used to read so much that I won Top Reader awards during the library's Summer Reading Program. I may not have all the time in the world to read for myself these days, but I make darn sure my kids are surrounded by books because they are essential to many of life's successes.
12) I see the numbers 10:34 on the clock ALL. THE. TIME. It drives me nuts.
13) "Follow the signs, Moore." This was said to me by my freshmen Physical Science teacher, Mr. Bies (am I spelling that correctly? probably not), before I left for a high school cross country meet. I find it to be great advice for life in general.
14) I am a proud Democrat and a proud Christian. That being said, I don't believe in throwing my politics or my religion in the faces of others.
15) Writing is my therapy. Doesn't matter if I'm keeping a personal journal or writing on my blog - words help me process (ha! word processor! no pun intended, but wow, I am a dork.)
16) White noise is magic for sleeping. I learned this lesson in college when I had to run a fan in the dorms to drown out all the noises from other people. I learned it again after Harrison was born and it helped him to sleep better and longer. In the Welsch household, a fan in the bedroom is a must!
17) I like to make people smile. I attempt to do this through acts of kindness, wit, and sarcasm. Are acts of sarcasm really a thing? They are now!
18) Until college, I believed I hated coconut. Then I learned that my mom hates coconut and therefore I had never been exposed to it. In my book, coconut is wonderful, especially if it comes in cookie format from Doane.
19) Being an English major has impacted my life in many ways. For one, I am obsessed with themes. I know most people plan meals and parties with themes, but I take it to next level and name children by theme.
20) If I could change one thing from high school, I would not have quit playing the trumpet after my sophomore year.
21) I will probably never outgrow calling my father "Daddy" - deal with it.
22) Having fresh flowers in the house really does make the world a happier place.
23) Coffee and dark chocolate really do make me a happier place. :)
24) I am not a fan of messes. Don't get me wrong. My house is far from spotless and is often untidy; that I can handle. What I do not like is anything relating to food or drink spilled all over OR piles of laundry being knocked off of elevated surfaces. You can imagine how my two-and-a-half-year-old son feels about this topic.
25) I have rather (freakishly) long digits (fingers and toes, both, mind you). I believe this means that in another life I was either a piano player or a fish. If you know how I feel about fish, you might find this funny.
26) 26 will always be my favorite number.
27) "You look tired" and "You look like you don't feel well" are two worthless comments and only serve to make me feel worse. If I am out and about, I am fine, or at least pretending to be so. Please play pretend along with me even if my under eye concealer is failing to do its job. :)
28) Once, at the infinitely wise age of 5, I asked my aunt while we were at the park, "Don't ya wish life was just swingin'?" I still wish that some days.
29) I still need to learn how to change a tire, especially if I'm going to continue driving my children to nap them.
30) Nope. Too much pressure to make this last one really profound. Instead, I'll go with this: Having kids made me realize that "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and the "ABC's" are the same damn song. How did I not know that?
Wow. That was a lot harder and took a lot longer than I expected. If you hung in there and read all of that, bless you and thanks for sharing in my little self reflection time.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Like Sister, Like Brother; Like Mother, Like Son
So Harrison was at Ben's parents for the weekend, and once we found out that Raegan had RSV (& I was feeling like poo myself), they decided they could keep him for a few more days until we got everything under control here. That was all well and good until last night when Harrison woke up at 2:30, running a fever and coughing more than ever. So much for thinking he was at the tail end of his cold!
Grandma Deb brought Little Man back home this morning and after a trip to the doctor this afternoon, we found out that he's got one ear that's infected, bronchiolitis, and (most likely) RSV. We didn't do the official test because I didn't want him screaming after having his nose swabbed, plus, based on Raegan's diagnosis/ Harrison's symptoms, the doctor said it seemed pretty obvious HD also has it. So another trip to the pharmacy to get meds for Harrison (and a sucker from the nice pharmacist), and now we're back home, trying to get everyone hydrated and well. I'm all for my kids learning to share, but perhaps not when it comes to germs, you know?
Here's the other kicker that tells me just how much HD is mine...apparently before bed last night (or maybe it was Sunday night), Harrison asked Grandma Deb as she was putting him down for the night, "Can I have my Mama now, please?" That is beyond sweet and melted my heart when I heard it, mainly because it was so out of the blue. Normally he does not make such requests. Seeing as she couldn't give me to him at that moment, he agreed to hold her hand instead until he fell asleep. Well, when he was up again last night at 2:30, he asked the same question and then followed it up with, "I have a pretty Mama." Oh, child! Flattery will get you everywhere! Needless to say, again - heart melted.
The irony of it all is in my last blog post from this weekend...apparently I'm not the only one who needs Mama when illness strikes!
Grandma Deb brought Little Man back home this morning and after a trip to the doctor this afternoon, we found out that he's got one ear that's infected, bronchiolitis, and (most likely) RSV. We didn't do the official test because I didn't want him screaming after having his nose swabbed, plus, based on Raegan's diagnosis/ Harrison's symptoms, the doctor said it seemed pretty obvious HD also has it. So another trip to the pharmacy to get meds for Harrison (and a sucker from the nice pharmacist), and now we're back home, trying to get everyone hydrated and well. I'm all for my kids learning to share, but perhaps not when it comes to germs, you know?
Here's the other kicker that tells me just how much HD is mine...apparently before bed last night (or maybe it was Sunday night), Harrison asked Grandma Deb as she was putting him down for the night, "Can I have my Mama now, please?" That is beyond sweet and melted my heart when I heard it, mainly because it was so out of the blue. Normally he does not make such requests. Seeing as she couldn't give me to him at that moment, he agreed to hold her hand instead until he fell asleep. Well, when he was up again last night at 2:30, he asked the same question and then followed it up with, "I have a pretty Mama." Oh, child! Flattery will get you everywhere! Needless to say, again - heart melted.
The irony of it all is in my last blog post from this weekend...apparently I'm not the only one who needs Mama when illness strikes!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Make it All Better
Pretty much since I set foot outside my parents' door at the age of 18 to attend college, I have called home like a little baby every time I have been sick. Doesn't matter if it is the flu, a fever, or just a head cold. I have to talk to my parents. And it never fails that at some point in the conversation, I ask in a very lovely and adult whine, "Can you come take care of me???? Pleeeeasssseeee?" Did I mention that I turn 30 tomorrow? Yep. And I still act like this.
My dad was a pro at taking care of me when I was a sick kid staying home from school. He would set up a nest of pillows and blankets on the couch and bring me water or a bowl of cereal or Mac'N'Cheese - whatever I needed to feel better. He would take me to the doctor if need be and helped me haul in the stack of books after we would collect the assignments I had missed from that day (or days) at school. It wasn't like I was an uber ill kind of kid, but it does seem like I had more than my fair share of bouts with pneumonia, bronchitis, and strep throat, not to mention the typical rounds of colds each year.
I guess I got most of that out of my system when I was little because thankfully I haven't had any of those things (except for the awful colds, of course) in many years. And yet, I still make that phone call to check in, say I'm sick, and see if maybe, just maybe, someone can come take care of me when I don't feel good. I especially long for my dad's Mac'N'Cheese and my mom's company - someone to put a hand on my forehead and say, "Oh, Sweetie. It will be OK."
I'm writing about this because a yuck has settled in our house this week. It started with Harrison and then moved on to Ben and Raegan. For the last day or two I've been showing signs of it, too. Originally I didn't think it was much more than a nasty spring cold, probably caused by the crazy warmer/cooler/warmer/rainy/warmer weather we've been having. HD and Ben are on the tail end of it all and seem to be getting out the last of their congestion and coughs. I'm doing OK - just sniffles, some aches, and a scratchy throat so far; unlike the others, though, I can't take a darn thing because of nursing. I am used to this though after being pregnant/nursing for much of the last three and a half years; you just have to let it run its course.
That's what we were doing with Raegan, too - just letting her system work it out. But today I couldn't take it any longer. She's been running a fever off and on since Thursday night and starting late Friday she got really congested and began coughing, too. I've never been to Convenient Care here in Hastings before, but when she was feverish again this morning, I decided I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to see our regular doctor and took her in. What an experience! First of all, they are BUSY, but they are also willing to take your information, let you go home and call you back in when they are ready to see you. Seeing as I don't feel so great myself and my daughter is clearly miserable, I appreciated not having to sit in their waiting room for over an hour. Especially because once we did go back in, we were there for an hour and half anyway!
Why so long? Well, as you can imagine, that's an indication that it wasn't an "Oh, it's nothing" visit. My poor baby has RSV! I'm trying to be thankful that she does not also have the flu or strep, which they also tested her for, but I feel so, so badly that she has what she does. Of course I have no idea where she got it and I am flabbergasted by the fact that this already her fourth or fifth round with illness. This is the worst one, though, by far and resulted in us purchasing a nebulizer and even getting antibiotics to keep her from getting anything else. *Sigh* Poor girl. Apparently she not only looks like me, she also has my immune system! Harrison, by some freak of nature or just extreme homebodiness when he was itty bitty, never had these issues as a baby. We are very new at knowing how to deal with all of this.
So now I am hopeful that we are on the road to recovery, but looking back at the last few days, I have realized a few things about what it means to be a parent. It means that I am willing to sit in a rocking chair until my bum goes numb (and then for another hour beyond that), just to hold my child because she finally fell asleep and finally seems peaceful. Look at this face - how could you not sit there every night and just hold her? It means that I will take her upstairs to the guest room where she I can sleep and nurse away from the main floor and the boys so that she can have all of my attention all night if she needs it. It means I will postpone my (30th!) birthday party because she's (we're all) too sick to have people over to the house. It means I will do whatever it takes to make her feel better in any way I can because that is what a parent does. You put your own needs behind those of your children.
I've been doing this parenting thing for two and a half years now, so it's not like I didn't already know this, but the whole thing has shown me just why it is that I long for my own parents when I feel like crap. Because they have always done everything they can to make me feel better, no matter the situation, no matter the ailment. It is because of their love, care, and support that I know I can give my all to my children in the here and now and that in 30 years or so, it is possible that they will still want to turn to me for comfort when things get achy. I will be here, just like they are there for me. Arms and Mac'N'Cheese ready.
My dad was a pro at taking care of me when I was a sick kid staying home from school. He would set up a nest of pillows and blankets on the couch and bring me water or a bowl of cereal or Mac'N'Cheese - whatever I needed to feel better. He would take me to the doctor if need be and helped me haul in the stack of books after we would collect the assignments I had missed from that day (or days) at school. It wasn't like I was an uber ill kind of kid, but it does seem like I had more than my fair share of bouts with pneumonia, bronchitis, and strep throat, not to mention the typical rounds of colds each year.
I guess I got most of that out of my system when I was little because thankfully I haven't had any of those things (except for the awful colds, of course) in many years. And yet, I still make that phone call to check in, say I'm sick, and see if maybe, just maybe, someone can come take care of me when I don't feel good. I especially long for my dad's Mac'N'Cheese and my mom's company - someone to put a hand on my forehead and say, "Oh, Sweetie. It will be OK."
I'm writing about this because a yuck has settled in our house this week. It started with Harrison and then moved on to Ben and Raegan. For the last day or two I've been showing signs of it, too. Originally I didn't think it was much more than a nasty spring cold, probably caused by the crazy warmer/cooler/warmer/rainy/warmer weather we've been having. HD and Ben are on the tail end of it all and seem to be getting out the last of their congestion and coughs. I'm doing OK - just sniffles, some aches, and a scratchy throat so far; unlike the others, though, I can't take a darn thing because of nursing. I am used to this though after being pregnant/nursing for much of the last three and a half years; you just have to let it run its course.
That's what we were doing with Raegan, too - just letting her system work it out. But today I couldn't take it any longer. She's been running a fever off and on since Thursday night and starting late Friday she got really congested and began coughing, too. I've never been to Convenient Care here in Hastings before, but when she was feverish again this morning, I decided I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to see our regular doctor and took her in. What an experience! First of all, they are BUSY, but they are also willing to take your information, let you go home and call you back in when they are ready to see you. Seeing as I don't feel so great myself and my daughter is clearly miserable, I appreciated not having to sit in their waiting room for over an hour. Especially because once we did go back in, we were there for an hour and half anyway!
Why so long? Well, as you can imagine, that's an indication that it wasn't an "Oh, it's nothing" visit. My poor baby has RSV! I'm trying to be thankful that she does not also have the flu or strep, which they also tested her for, but I feel so, so badly that she has what she does. Of course I have no idea where she got it and I am flabbergasted by the fact that this already her fourth or fifth round with illness. This is the worst one, though, by far and resulted in us purchasing a nebulizer and even getting antibiotics to keep her from getting anything else. *Sigh* Poor girl. Apparently she not only looks like me, she also has my immune system! Harrison, by some freak of nature or just extreme homebodiness when he was itty bitty, never had these issues as a baby. We are very new at knowing how to deal with all of this.
I've been doing this parenting thing for two and a half years now, so it's not like I didn't already know this, but the whole thing has shown me just why it is that I long for my own parents when I feel like crap. Because they have always done everything they can to make me feel better, no matter the situation, no matter the ailment. It is because of their love, care, and support that I know I can give my all to my children in the here and now and that in 30 years or so, it is possible that they will still want to turn to me for comfort when things get achy. I will be here, just like they are there for me. Arms and Mac'N'Cheese ready.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Little Van on the Prairie
As a child, I was obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder and the Little House on the Prairie series. Seriously. I wanted to be Laura. I'm not a huge outdoorsy person, but I could just see myself in the covered wagon or the sod house, living the pioneer's dream. I was also a big fan of Oregon Trail and played it on our family's computer a lot. I got pretty pissed, though, when my character died early on; pretty sure I remember throwing a few fits over such a loss because I hated to miss out on the whole trip...as if my parents could have done anything about it other than start the game over (which I don't think they let me do).
Maybe it is this wannabe prairie girl in me that has relished a bit in the ridiculous parenting behavior in which I am now partaking on a regular basis. Did I mention that because of this behavior I damn near ended up in Kansas today? On accident?! How does one accidentally almost end up in Kansas? Well, you start driving your kids to sleep each afternoon and it is funny where life and little Nebraska highways will take you!
Never in a million years did I expect that I would be driving my kids to sleep. But when that is what it takes to get both kids to sleep at the same time (and the only thing that works AT ALL to get the older one to nap AT ALL), you just do it. I am very much from the school of You Do What You Have To and You Do What Works when it comes to parenting these days. And with that being said, there have been several afternoons this week that I've loaded up the babes and hit the road, no real destination in mind.
At the start of each journey, I make sure Raegan is comfy, cozy in her seat and that Harrison has his two trusted advisors, Cow and Monkey, along for the ride. I drive through McDonald's to get a cheap Mocha (mmmmm, how I love mochas), and I tell HD that we're going to look for trains. We drive around town to check a few tracks while he winds down and then we head south for the the little roads that just go on and on through the countryside. Why south? Probably because I know more of the territory to the north (that's the way we travel to get to my family in SoDak), so going south has been a way to explore this area where I've been living for the last five and a half years. Thanks to my little afternoon excursions, I now know a lot more of the little towns where my students at CCC have come from over the years, and I have officially been in Cather Country - something I've been meaning to do ever since I came here after working on the Cather Project in grad school.
Typically, when we hit the road, it doesn't take Little Miss long to drift off. Today was the exception, though, with Harrison falling asleep before we left the city limits of Hastings and Raegan waiting until we were rolling on the highway to fade off. In addition to sipping my coffee, I listen to NPR and just check out the scenery as I drive. I follow the speed limits (shocking, perhaps, to some of you who may have traveled with me at other times) because when sleeping kiddos is the only objective, there is no need to rush.
I am quickly growing to enjoy these little trips, not only for the new places I am seeing, but also for the quiet it brings to my day. From the moment I awake each morning, life around here is pretty noisy. Someone is either crying or asking for something, or the TV or radio might be on, or the dogs are barking. Maybe a toy is making noise or there are little footsteps pounding around on the wood floors. Whatever it is, it is loud. Getting in the car and having both children fall asleep allows me to have time when no one is hanging on me and no one is demanding anything of me. Now, please don't take that the wrong way. I love having my kids close and getting them the things they need day in and day out. But sometimes I just get "touched" out, so getting us all strapped into our seats in the van means I get to have my personal space respected, at least until we return back to the house.
The only bummer about these driving naps is that I cannot actually join the wee ones in sleep. I've thought about stopping the van somewhere to read or cat nap, but I don't know that they'd stay asleep if I did that, plus I wouldn't want people stopping to see if we needed help or something. Instead I take in the gorgeous skies and prairie views and I let my mind wander as I think about the land, and the clouds, and this crazy life I now lead as a mom (some of that crazy good, some not so much).
Did you know how beautiful Nebraska can be? The big open flat places are amazing in their own right, but I also love the little rolling hills and creek beds with random strips of trees that I've been discovering. They come out of nowhere and I always find myself thinking back to what it would have been like to come upon a creek bed like that in a covered wagon instead of a minivan. I'm guessing it was both breathtaking and intimidating. How does one keep going over such terrain? I guess they probably would have stopped to survey the area, looking for the easiest and quickest path and then they simply would have continued on. When I think about it, that's a pretty good metaphor for parenthood. When you come across these sudden dips and valleys, you don't really much choice but to keep moving forward. The reward for pushing through, I can only hope, is a few more miles under the belt and a little more confidence that the next valley might not be as scary.
As you might imagine, I was pretty excited that my trip today had me headed toward a tiny town by the name of Guide Rock. Doesn't that sound just like a stop along the Oregon Trail? As it turns out, there is no rock there. At least, not one that I could find as I drove through the semi-paved streets (all five or six of them). That's OK, though; I still consider the trip a success seeing as both kiddos slept.
I realize that at some point, with gas prices in the $3.60's per gallon, I'm going to have to stop this. For now, though, I'm going to continue to enjoy the quiet beauty (and the beautiful quiet) I am finding along these Nebraska highways.
Maybe it is this wannabe prairie girl in me that has relished a bit in the ridiculous parenting behavior in which I am now partaking on a regular basis. Did I mention that because of this behavior I damn near ended up in Kansas today? On accident?! How does one accidentally almost end up in Kansas? Well, you start driving your kids to sleep each afternoon and it is funny where life and little Nebraska highways will take you!
Never in a million years did I expect that I would be driving my kids to sleep. But when that is what it takes to get both kids to sleep at the same time (and the only thing that works AT ALL to get the older one to nap AT ALL), you just do it. I am very much from the school of You Do What You Have To and You Do What Works when it comes to parenting these days. And with that being said, there have been several afternoons this week that I've loaded up the babes and hit the road, no real destination in mind.
At the start of each journey, I make sure Raegan is comfy, cozy in her seat and that Harrison has his two trusted advisors, Cow and Monkey, along for the ride. I drive through McDonald's to get a cheap Mocha (mmmmm, how I love mochas), and I tell HD that we're going to look for trains. We drive around town to check a few tracks while he winds down and then we head south for the the little roads that just go on and on through the countryside. Why south? Probably because I know more of the territory to the north (that's the way we travel to get to my family in SoDak), so going south has been a way to explore this area where I've been living for the last five and a half years. Thanks to my little afternoon excursions, I now know a lot more of the little towns where my students at CCC have come from over the years, and I have officially been in Cather Country - something I've been meaning to do ever since I came here after working on the Cather Project in grad school.
Typically, when we hit the road, it doesn't take Little Miss long to drift off. Today was the exception, though, with Harrison falling asleep before we left the city limits of Hastings and Raegan waiting until we were rolling on the highway to fade off. In addition to sipping my coffee, I listen to NPR and just check out the scenery as I drive. I follow the speed limits (shocking, perhaps, to some of you who may have traveled with me at other times) because when sleeping kiddos is the only objective, there is no need to rush.
I am quickly growing to enjoy these little trips, not only for the new places I am seeing, but also for the quiet it brings to my day. From the moment I awake each morning, life around here is pretty noisy. Someone is either crying or asking for something, or the TV or radio might be on, or the dogs are barking. Maybe a toy is making noise or there are little footsteps pounding around on the wood floors. Whatever it is, it is loud. Getting in the car and having both children fall asleep allows me to have time when no one is hanging on me and no one is demanding anything of me. Now, please don't take that the wrong way. I love having my kids close and getting them the things they need day in and day out. But sometimes I just get "touched" out, so getting us all strapped into our seats in the van means I get to have my personal space respected, at least until we return back to the house.
The only bummer about these driving naps is that I cannot actually join the wee ones in sleep. I've thought about stopping the van somewhere to read or cat nap, but I don't know that they'd stay asleep if I did that, plus I wouldn't want people stopping to see if we needed help or something. Instead I take in the gorgeous skies and prairie views and I let my mind wander as I think about the land, and the clouds, and this crazy life I now lead as a mom (some of that crazy good, some not so much).
Did you know how beautiful Nebraska can be? The big open flat places are amazing in their own right, but I also love the little rolling hills and creek beds with random strips of trees that I've been discovering. They come out of nowhere and I always find myself thinking back to what it would have been like to come upon a creek bed like that in a covered wagon instead of a minivan. I'm guessing it was both breathtaking and intimidating. How does one keep going over such terrain? I guess they probably would have stopped to survey the area, looking for the easiest and quickest path and then they simply would have continued on. When I think about it, that's a pretty good metaphor for parenthood. When you come across these sudden dips and valleys, you don't really much choice but to keep moving forward. The reward for pushing through, I can only hope, is a few more miles under the belt and a little more confidence that the next valley might not be as scary.
As you might imagine, I was pretty excited that my trip today had me headed toward a tiny town by the name of Guide Rock. Doesn't that sound just like a stop along the Oregon Trail? As it turns out, there is no rock there. At least, not one that I could find as I drove through the semi-paved streets (all five or six of them). That's OK, though; I still consider the trip a success seeing as both kiddos slept.
I realize that at some point, with gas prices in the $3.60's per gallon, I'm going to have to stop this. For now, though, I'm going to continue to enjoy the quiet beauty (and the beautiful quiet) I am finding along these Nebraska highways.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Letter Art
Seeing as Harrison & I have lots of afternoon time to use now that he's not napping, we've been looking for other activities we can do that don't involve the TV and are relatively quiet (in hopes that Little Girl can at least get a good nap every day!). I've been finding lots of ideas on Pinterest and in the last couple of weeks I've made a run to Hobby Lobby, Target, Walmart and one of the dollar stores to look for fun, easy, cheap, and quiet crafts. One simple project we stumbled upon that has become quite popular is what we like to call Letter Art. Here is what it looks like in action:
To make our Letter Art, I got simple, colored sheets of foam "paper" and a big bag of foam (& glitter!) letters.
Normally I suppose people use these letters for making kids' names on visors and other items at camps, etc., but we decided they could be used like any other sticker. At first I poured a bunch into a bowl for Harrison and thought I would be there to be the backer-remover, but I quickly learned that he's got pretty good fine motor skills because he can get most of them off by himself. In fact, peeling the sticker backs off seems to be half the fun sometimes when we start making Letter Art. Hey - whatever works!
The other thing I learned is that Harrison's obsessed with the "centers" that can be found in your obvious letters like "O" and "D" but also, oddly enough, in the "S" and "W" as well. He loves to punch out these pieces, so he quickly searches through the bowl each time we do this to find all of them. He likes them so much that he usually tries to get me to pull out the big bag again as soon as he's done collecting centers because he's ready for more. I've done this a couple of times, but I'll need to start pacing myself or he's going to be bummed that absolutely no centers are left!
Once he starts peeling off backs, it is a free for all; he places the stickers wherever he likes on the sheet. A finished product might look something like this (notice the centers!):
What I love about this simple art project, though, is that we've also been able to incorporate some letter recognition and word association practice into the fun of stickers and glitter and centers. I've started to ask him what letter he is holding and a lot of the time, he can tell me (and not just "Z" which happens to be his favorite letter). I also ask him if he can think of any words that start with that letter and if he can't, I give him some ideas in hopes that the next time I ask, he might remember that "W" is for "Welsch" and so on. The other cool thing about this is how HD has turned it into a matching/sorting exercise. See how the pink and blue "W"s are together on the sheet? And notice that there are two red "P"s stacked on top of each other? That's his doing. He's finding ways to group the letters, all on his own.
I don't know how long his love affair with Letter Art will last, but for now, when I ask if he wants to do some, he yells, "YEAHHHHHHH!" and comes running. Can't beat that! And, since I can't just sit there and twiddle my thumbs, I get to play and have fun too (Harrison added the "O"and the center as helpful afterthoughts to my masterpiece):
To make our Letter Art, I got simple, colored sheets of foam "paper" and a big bag of foam (& glitter!) letters.
Once he starts peeling off backs, it is a free for all; he places the stickers wherever he likes on the sheet. A finished product might look something like this (notice the centers!):
What I love about this simple art project, though, is that we've also been able to incorporate some letter recognition and word association practice into the fun of stickers and glitter and centers. I've started to ask him what letter he is holding and a lot of the time, he can tell me (and not just "Z" which happens to be his favorite letter). I also ask him if he can think of any words that start with that letter and if he can't, I give him some ideas in hopes that the next time I ask, he might remember that "W" is for "Welsch" and so on. The other cool thing about this is how HD has turned it into a matching/sorting exercise. See how the pink and blue "W"s are together on the sheet? And notice that there are two red "P"s stacked on top of each other? That's his doing. He's finding ways to group the letters, all on his own.
I don't know how long his love affair with Letter Art will last, but for now, when I ask if he wants to do some, he yells, "YEAHHHHHHH!" and comes running. Can't beat that! And, since I can't just sit there and twiddle my thumbs, I get to play and have fun too (Harrison added the "O"and the center as helpful afterthoughts to my masterpiece):
Monday, March 12, 2012
Two in Cloth
Today is the first day of having both kids in cloth diapers. Actually, Harrison is the only one (back) in them so far; Raegan had her four-month well-baby visit this morning, so she will try them out for the first time this afternoon. I am both ready for and dreading this.
To be honest, I have really enjoyed using cloth diapers. We started with Harrison in them full-time when he was round three months old. I waited that long because there was so much other new stuff going on when he was born that I wasn't sure I could handle a reusable diaper routine on top of everything else. Once we got past the newborn dirties (sorry if this is TMI), it was more feasible and we settled into a great routine using our Bummis Super Snap Wraps and prefold cloth diapers. Super easy. No pins - just folding, including a flushable/biodegradable liner, and snapping shut. For the most part, they have worked like a dream ever since. We have always used Pampers at night and when we travel, so perhaps we've always cheated a little bit, but we've been happy with our choice and how we have implemented it.
When Raegan was born, I again stocked up on newborn and size one Pampers because I knew that having two in diapers was going to be challenging enough in the beginning and, quite frankly, I really did not want to do the newborn dirties. At this point we were still in the old house, so I had my system all set with Harrison and he stayed in cloth through the first half of January. Then we moved and in some ways, all chaos broke lose.
As you know if you've been reading these posts, life has been a little rocky here lately. Lots of transitions in our life and family have led us to using terms like "hot mess" and "a house on wheels" to describe our day-to-day. Some days we have been all of the above - a hot mess on wheels, so you can imagine my hesitancy to throw diaper duty on top of all that.
But here we are in mid-March, with Raegan being four months and our family having been in the new house for almost two. It is time. Plus, I am really sick of buying two boxes of Pampers every week, even with coupons! So yesterday I finally pushed Ben to get the diaper sprayer set up (fantastic device you attach to your toilet to spray clean dirty diapers - every family should have one just to take care of blow-outs and other food/life messes on clothes!). I pulled out my prefolds and both sets (small and medium) of wrap covers. I folded, I stacked, and I organized in both bedrooms so both kiddos would have the necessary supplies to start this grand adventure today.
So far, perhaps because it is only one of them, it hasn't been bad at all. Harrison did balk a little bit when I put the first diaper on him this morning; right away told me he wanted to take it off. I responded that he either had to wear it or use the big potty and that was pretty much the end of the whining because clearly we are not ready for the big potty yet. Poor guy did walk away with his legs a little askew, though; the cloth diapers are a bit bulkier, so I'm sure it does feel funny/different after so much time in disposables. Now, halfway through the day, he seems to be adjusting just fine. And even if they are a little uncomfortable, so be it. Maybe that will motivate him to use the big potty sooner than later.
Now we'll just need to see what Little Miss thinks of them and what Mama thinks of dueling diaper changes that can't just be tossed in the trash, not to mention staying on top of all the laundry. Thankfully the sun will be out this week for assistance in drying (and bleaching); the biggest shift will just be doing a load most days instead of every two or three.
Wish me luck (and not too many messes)!!
To be honest, I have really enjoyed using cloth diapers. We started with Harrison in them full-time when he was round three months old. I waited that long because there was so much other new stuff going on when he was born that I wasn't sure I could handle a reusable diaper routine on top of everything else. Once we got past the newborn dirties (sorry if this is TMI), it was more feasible and we settled into a great routine using our Bummis Super Snap Wraps and prefold cloth diapers. Super easy. No pins - just folding, including a flushable/biodegradable liner, and snapping shut. For the most part, they have worked like a dream ever since. We have always used Pampers at night and when we travel, so perhaps we've always cheated a little bit, but we've been happy with our choice and how we have implemented it.
When Raegan was born, I again stocked up on newborn and size one Pampers because I knew that having two in diapers was going to be challenging enough in the beginning and, quite frankly, I really did not want to do the newborn dirties. At this point we were still in the old house, so I had my system all set with Harrison and he stayed in cloth through the first half of January. Then we moved and in some ways, all chaos broke lose.
As you know if you've been reading these posts, life has been a little rocky here lately. Lots of transitions in our life and family have led us to using terms like "hot mess" and "a house on wheels" to describe our day-to-day. Some days we have been all of the above - a hot mess on wheels, so you can imagine my hesitancy to throw diaper duty on top of all that.
But here we are in mid-March, with Raegan being four months and our family having been in the new house for almost two. It is time. Plus, I am really sick of buying two boxes of Pampers every week, even with coupons! So yesterday I finally pushed Ben to get the diaper sprayer set up (fantastic device you attach to your toilet to spray clean dirty diapers - every family should have one just to take care of blow-outs and other food/life messes on clothes!). I pulled out my prefolds and both sets (small and medium) of wrap covers. I folded, I stacked, and I organized in both bedrooms so both kiddos would have the necessary supplies to start this grand adventure today.
So far, perhaps because it is only one of them, it hasn't been bad at all. Harrison did balk a little bit when I put the first diaper on him this morning; right away told me he wanted to take it off. I responded that he either had to wear it or use the big potty and that was pretty much the end of the whining because clearly we are not ready for the big potty yet. Poor guy did walk away with his legs a little askew, though; the cloth diapers are a bit bulkier, so I'm sure it does feel funny/different after so much time in disposables. Now, halfway through the day, he seems to be adjusting just fine. And even if they are a little uncomfortable, so be it. Maybe that will motivate him to use the big potty sooner than later.
Now we'll just need to see what Little Miss thinks of them and what Mama thinks of dueling diaper changes that can't just be tossed in the trash, not to mention staying on top of all the laundry. Thankfully the sun will be out this week for assistance in drying (and bleaching); the biggest shift will just be doing a load most days instead of every two or three.
Wish me luck (and not too many messes)!!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
That Mom
Harrison is off to the farm for a few days to visit Grandpa and Grandma Welsch, so as a rare treat, I got to take Raegan to Baby Weighs this morning with no schedule and no toddler, and therefore, no rush. For those of you who aren't familiar, Baby Weighs is a breastfeeding support group that meets for two hours each Tuesday morning. You can take your baby to see not only how she is growing but also what she is getting in an average feeding. With Harrison I was addicted to Baby Weighs and hardly ever missed a Tuesday. This time around it is a little more hit-and-miss, but I've actually been going on a pretty regular basis to see how much Little Girl is gaining each week.
Normally I don't nurse Raegan at Baby Weighs because she is too distractable and never seems to do much (whereas Harrison nursed like a champ there, getting 4-6 oz. almost every week). She has been like this from almost the very beginning. Seeing as she doesn't usually need to eat when we are there, I have been, for the last month or so, taking Harrison with us. Before I would only go if I had someone here at the house to watch him because I just couldn't imagine him having the patience to wait in line with me and stay put in the small but active area where we meet. Part of my decision to leave him at home also stemmed from when I was taking him there as a baby. When he was about 6 months old or so, a bunch of moms started coming who had brand new babies and older siblings in tow. I distinctly remember being frustrated when some of those older kids were just running around like crazy, getting into everyone's faces and stuff. I really did not want to be that mom.
At the same time, I have been really curious about how Raegan is doing because her nursing tends to be brief and sporadic at times. Now she's got the cutest, chunkiest thighs I've ever seen, so I don't think she is wasting away, but I have hated to miss Baby Weighs just because my sitter bailed on me too many times to count, so I decided to start taking Harrison with me.
From the very first time the three of us went, I have been impressed. He's done an amazing job of staying relatively close to me and listening when I warn him about getting into things in the room (never anyone else's stuff, mind you). I always have a special snack for him to eat while we wait and he always wants to come up and see Raegan when she's on the scale. He helps me by throwing trash away and by putting back the hospital blanket that we use during weighing. He's done so well on some visits that other moms have even commented on how great he was. *Pause for Proud Mama Moment!*
Now on several occasions, other "big" kids have been there too. Some of them are watched at various degrees by their own mothers, but I try my best to make sure that Harrison plays nice if he is interacting with anyone else. At last week's meeting, there was a 2-yr-old girl there that he started playing with. While they struggled a little bit to share some blocks, I thought they did pretty well, except for when she took off and Harrison went after her to play "chase" (she didn't want to play that game, though, so it was more of her just running away from HD). I corralled him as soon as I could and he calmed down, but apparently it wasn't enough.
This morning, I decided to try a "before and after" weight after weighing Raegan (14 lbs.!!) because she hadn't nursed in four hours and I thought she might be hungry enough to do a solid feeding. Wrong! She was on and off in less than four minutes, but I stood in line anyway, waiting and waiting (lots of mamas there today!) to see how much she got. It was an ounce. I should have skipped it & gone straight to grocery shopping especially because of the conversation I heard as I was packing up Baby Girl and all her stuff.
Five or six nursing moms sitting on the couches were talking about, you guessed it, the times when a bunch of older kids are there. And then someone brought up last week and the kid who was chasing the other kid for a toy. In other words, my kid (except he wasn't trying to take her toy, I promise). The conversation went on about how they always leave their older ones, if they have them, at home and basically the tone/point of it all was how annoying those older kids are.
Here is my dilemma. I get it. I really do. I remember what it felt like to be there with just one baby. I remember wondering why those older kids had to be there or why they had to be acting like, well, kids. But now that I'm on the other side, I understand that those moms were just doing their best to take care of their entire family, even if that meant bringing an older brother or sister (or both!) to Baby Weighs. And quite frankly, I was both embarrassed and hurt to overhear them talking about my child like that. I have an active, spirited (more on that later) boy who is two and a half years old. He is not going to sit still and silent the whole time we are there. Of course I wish he hadn't been running around last week, but he did and it was brief and I dealt with it. I am sorry that I don't have the means to leave him at home every week like those moms do, but I actually feel like the outings to Baby Weighs have been really positive and good for Harrison. He gets to be my helper and a proud big brother. He also, some times, gets to play with other kids. All of these are good things, as far as I can tell.
So I guess what I'm really sorry about is the fact that I ever judged other moms who were in the same situation that I now face. Juggling two or more kids in public is never easy. For now I'll try to nurse my own wounded pride and focus instead on all the times HD has listened and behaved, even if I have been "that mom" a time or two (or three).
Normally I don't nurse Raegan at Baby Weighs because she is too distractable and never seems to do much (whereas Harrison nursed like a champ there, getting 4-6 oz. almost every week). She has been like this from almost the very beginning. Seeing as she doesn't usually need to eat when we are there, I have been, for the last month or so, taking Harrison with us. Before I would only go if I had someone here at the house to watch him because I just couldn't imagine him having the patience to wait in line with me and stay put in the small but active area where we meet. Part of my decision to leave him at home also stemmed from when I was taking him there as a baby. When he was about 6 months old or so, a bunch of moms started coming who had brand new babies and older siblings in tow. I distinctly remember being frustrated when some of those older kids were just running around like crazy, getting into everyone's faces and stuff. I really did not want to be that mom.
At the same time, I have been really curious about how Raegan is doing because her nursing tends to be brief and sporadic at times. Now she's got the cutest, chunkiest thighs I've ever seen, so I don't think she is wasting away, but I have hated to miss Baby Weighs just because my sitter bailed on me too many times to count, so I decided to start taking Harrison with me.
From the very first time the three of us went, I have been impressed. He's done an amazing job of staying relatively close to me and listening when I warn him about getting into things in the room (never anyone else's stuff, mind you). I always have a special snack for him to eat while we wait and he always wants to come up and see Raegan when she's on the scale. He helps me by throwing trash away and by putting back the hospital blanket that we use during weighing. He's done so well on some visits that other moms have even commented on how great he was. *Pause for Proud Mama Moment!*
Now on several occasions, other "big" kids have been there too. Some of them are watched at various degrees by their own mothers, but I try my best to make sure that Harrison plays nice if he is interacting with anyone else. At last week's meeting, there was a 2-yr-old girl there that he started playing with. While they struggled a little bit to share some blocks, I thought they did pretty well, except for when she took off and Harrison went after her to play "chase" (she didn't want to play that game, though, so it was more of her just running away from HD). I corralled him as soon as I could and he calmed down, but apparently it wasn't enough.
This morning, I decided to try a "before and after" weight after weighing Raegan (14 lbs.!!) because she hadn't nursed in four hours and I thought she might be hungry enough to do a solid feeding. Wrong! She was on and off in less than four minutes, but I stood in line anyway, waiting and waiting (lots of mamas there today!) to see how much she got. It was an ounce. I should have skipped it & gone straight to grocery shopping especially because of the conversation I heard as I was packing up Baby Girl and all her stuff.
Five or six nursing moms sitting on the couches were talking about, you guessed it, the times when a bunch of older kids are there. And then someone brought up last week and the kid who was chasing the other kid for a toy. In other words, my kid (except he wasn't trying to take her toy, I promise). The conversation went on about how they always leave their older ones, if they have them, at home and basically the tone/point of it all was how annoying those older kids are.
Here is my dilemma. I get it. I really do. I remember what it felt like to be there with just one baby. I remember wondering why those older kids had to be there or why they had to be acting like, well, kids. But now that I'm on the other side, I understand that those moms were just doing their best to take care of their entire family, even if that meant bringing an older brother or sister (or both!) to Baby Weighs. And quite frankly, I was both embarrassed and hurt to overhear them talking about my child like that. I have an active, spirited (more on that later) boy who is two and a half years old. He is not going to sit still and silent the whole time we are there. Of course I wish he hadn't been running around last week, but he did and it was brief and I dealt with it. I am sorry that I don't have the means to leave him at home every week like those moms do, but I actually feel like the outings to Baby Weighs have been really positive and good for Harrison. He gets to be my helper and a proud big brother. He also, some times, gets to play with other kids. All of these are good things, as far as I can tell.
So I guess what I'm really sorry about is the fact that I ever judged other moms who were in the same situation that I now face. Juggling two or more kids in public is never easy. For now I'll try to nurse my own wounded pride and focus instead on all the times HD has listened and behaved, even if I have been "that mom" a time or two (or three).
Friday, March 2, 2012
Mourning Nap
To be perfectly honest, I don't know all 12 steps in a 12 step program. I think it is safe to say, though, that I've gone through quite a few of them this week with what appears to be the end of day sleep for Harrison. I know there has definitely been some denial and some anger. And now, slowly, I am settling on acceptance after five full days of not forcing (and not getting a voluntary) nap.
The first couple days of the Great Nap Experiment involved me asking HD over and over again if he was tired or sleepy. Did he want to read stories? Take a nap? Take a rest? "Nope." "I'm not sleepy." "I don't want to nap." "I'm still playing!" were what I heard in response every single time, so by Wednesday, I quit asking. I may be slow, but I got the hint. He really did not want to sleep.
As a result of this no-nap approach, a few things have happened. For one, he is going to bed early. As in 6:00 early. And while he still isn't staying in his room or bed all night (still coming in 3-5 times throughout the night to find us, only to be walked back to his bed where he typically falls asleep again right away), he is going down right away at 6ish. At least that is an improvement! The other outcome, though, has been a little more trying. He is literally with me allllllllll day long. Now it's not that I don't like spending time with my son, but I am struggling to get him to do anything on his own throughout the day. For someone so independent, it is almost funny how much he wants to be in my face or space. I haven't really pushed this whole quiet, independent time thing yet, but I'm going to have to because having no time to myself all day every day is just as exhausting as spending an hour (plus) getting him to nap every day.
So how am I able to type this right now? Netflix. Yes, I am using Curious George via Netflix to get 20 minutes of me-time while the baby sleeps. I've been turning the TV off every day at 1:00 so that the whole afternoon isn't just one show after another (unless he naps - then I tell him he can watch whatever he wants, but even that isn't working!). But the last two days, right around 3:45 when Raegan needed to nurse, I fudged it a bit and pulled up Netflix on the Kindle Fire. So it is watching something but I can still pretend that I'm upholding my "no TV" rule. Well, kind of. Again, I'm not that slow, but I am that worn out after five very long days, so I don't really care if it is giving in. Mama needs a minute. That's just all there is to it.
For as much as we may have struggled over the years with HD's naps, I certainly didn't think that two-and-a-half would be the end of the line. Guess I'm going to have to get really creative with how I structure our days because 7:45 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. without Daddy and without nap every weekday is going to get pretty interesting pretty quick. Maybe I'll finally start putting some of those Pinterest ideas I've found into practice?
The first couple days of the Great Nap Experiment involved me asking HD over and over again if he was tired or sleepy. Did he want to read stories? Take a nap? Take a rest? "Nope." "I'm not sleepy." "I don't want to nap." "I'm still playing!" were what I heard in response every single time, so by Wednesday, I quit asking. I may be slow, but I got the hint. He really did not want to sleep.
As a result of this no-nap approach, a few things have happened. For one, he is going to bed early. As in 6:00 early. And while he still isn't staying in his room or bed all night (still coming in 3-5 times throughout the night to find us, only to be walked back to his bed where he typically falls asleep again right away), he is going down right away at 6ish. At least that is an improvement! The other outcome, though, has been a little more trying. He is literally with me allllllllll day long. Now it's not that I don't like spending time with my son, but I am struggling to get him to do anything on his own throughout the day. For someone so independent, it is almost funny how much he wants to be in my face or space. I haven't really pushed this whole quiet, independent time thing yet, but I'm going to have to because having no time to myself all day every day is just as exhausting as spending an hour (plus) getting him to nap every day.
So how am I able to type this right now? Netflix. Yes, I am using Curious George via Netflix to get 20 minutes of me-time while the baby sleeps. I've been turning the TV off every day at 1:00 so that the whole afternoon isn't just one show after another (unless he naps - then I tell him he can watch whatever he wants, but even that isn't working!). But the last two days, right around 3:45 when Raegan needed to nurse, I fudged it a bit and pulled up Netflix on the Kindle Fire. So it is watching something but I can still pretend that I'm upholding my "no TV" rule. Well, kind of. Again, I'm not that slow, but I am that worn out after five very long days, so I don't really care if it is giving in. Mama needs a minute. That's just all there is to it.
For as much as we may have struggled over the years with HD's naps, I certainly didn't think that two-and-a-half would be the end of the line. Guess I'm going to have to get really creative with how I structure our days because 7:45 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. without Daddy and without nap every weekday is going to get pretty interesting pretty quick. Maybe I'll finally start putting some of those Pinterest ideas I've found into practice?
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