On August 16, I began a 137 day journey with author/blogger Patti Digh, focusing on how to Love Well, Live Fully, and Let Go Deeply (all while Making a Difference in the world). Today is Day 14 and I must say that so far it has been a lot of fun and a fair amount of work, both intellectual and emotional.
For each day of Project 137, Patti shares ways in which we can love more (others and ourselves), live to the best of out ability, and accept the fact that each day passes (as we will all), so we might as well let the day go and be at peace.
Now. Some of you are thinking I've gone off the granola and liberal deep end with this one. Perhaps I have. But I'm happy to be participating in something that's got me focused on my loves and my life and that is also helping me practice letting go of all the c-r-a-p that drives me bonkers. Will I come out at the end of this 137 days all Zen? No, probably not. But will I have found ways to care for myself as well as others in better, more present ways? Yes, I think so. So why not? Why not live like these are my last 137 days? Because no matter how many days I have left, you can sure bet I want to make them count and this Project is helping me do just that.
So a couple days ago, Patti gave us a little assignment and asked us to be Secret Angels for others. Didn't matter who. Didn't matter what. Just show up for someone else and do whatever might make them smile. On the same day, I believe, we were discussing self care and what it means to love others by first loving yourself. I took all of this in and thought about what I could do for someone else.
For people who are part of a "traditional" workspace, I would imagine this was pretty easy. Me? I can go days at a time without seeing another adult besides my husband and quite frankly, I'm already a Secret Angel in this house because I make it run and do a lot of the behind the scenes work for my family (Whoops! Nothing Zen about that, now, was there?!). Not complaining, just saying that I wanted a different avenue for this particular project.
So then I thought about my own care and what I would like to have happen to me if a little angel swooped in to brighten my day. My first thought? Coffee! We are getting much better sleep these days (Thank Goodness! Merry Christmas! Amen!), but I still love me my coffee and have a cup or two a day. These are my little moments for me, even though I'm usually gulping it down as we move from one activity or task to the next. Again, not real Zen, but I'll take what my Keurig can give me. Anyway, I've always wanted to but have never participated in a Pay It Forward kind of day at a drive thru or store. I decided that was going to be my Secret Angel move...swoop in and pay for someone's coffee. I realize there are greater ways to make a greater difference in the world, but making someone smile makes my world better, so I decided it would definitely count as Secret Angel work.
I couldn't get after this on the day of, but today, I needed an extra shot of caffeine (class to teach tonight, you know), so after Ben got home, I headed for the McDonald's drive thru, hoping and hoping that someone would pull in behind me.
And someone did! When I got to the first window to pay, I asked the cashier if I could pay for the order behind me. It took her a second to get what I was asking and then she said, "Sure, no problem." Except it was a teensy little problem because first she had to run my card for my order and then the machine froze up because the same card was run again when she tried to swipe it for the next vehicle's purchase. Whoopsee! A manager had to come and approve the transaction, and as you can imagine, this all meant TIME sitting in the drive thru lane. Not eons, but long enough that the dude working the next window poked his head to see if/when I was coming to collect my vanilla iced coffee.
As I sat waiting for my card to come back me, I peeked in my rear view mirror and saw the woman behind me digging in her purse ("Yay! No worries, my friend. I've got you covered!" I thought) and looking rather exasperated by the wait ("Whoops! Sorry, my friend. I promise it will get better soon!" I thought). And it did. I got my card back, cruised on up to the next window to grab my beverage and then drove off happier than I think I've ever been when leaving the McDonald's parking lot (and that is saying a lot considering how happy I was to get a coffee some days last spring!). As in full-on-smile-and-laughing-happy to think about how surprised she must have been when the cashier told her to just have a nice day instead of asking her to pay.
Now I would have been happy to pay for anyone's whatever, but as it turned out, all I had buy for her was a large smoothie, so this was not bank breaking. Nor was it life shattering. But it sure was fun and I can't wait to do something like it again.
And I'm not sharing this little story with all of you because I just can't keep the secret, but to encourage each one of you to be a Secret Angel for someone in your life. It feels absolutely fabulous to do something for someone, even if it is as simple as buying a strawberry smoothie.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
No Pressure, Please
Whoa. This is a hard one for me, mainly because I'm a fixer. Or maybe because I'm a do-it-myself-er. I like to just dive and do. This is both a blessing and a curse. Just ask those around me!
When it comes to parenting, it's more of a curse. I have always been bad about just doing things for Harrison, even though he is perfectly capable. The kid is three and just started dressing himself a few weeks ago all because of me! And what's worse is that I didn't even think of that as a problem. But I'm learning. And I really am trying to slow the flip down and just let him work it out, whatever it happens to be in the given moment. I'm still not good at it, but I'm trying.
My trying is a bit under fire these days...if you've ever been around Harrison, you know he is a very verbal kid. Talks all the time. He started speaking pretty clearly around age two and hasn't slowed down since. Except now, all of the sudden, he is stuttering. And, you know me...I want ever-so-badly to dive in and fix it for him, mostly because it has totally caught me off guard and I know he can speak just fine. At least, I think he can because he always has, up until a couple weeks ago.
After we got back from our little SoDak vacation, we took the kids to their well baby visits (I will always call them well baby visits, even when they are in high school because my kids will always be my babies; that's just how it is). At that time, there were no speech issues to discuss because I'd never once in my life heard HD stutter. And then, two days later, it started. Why?!
I've been trying to do some quick Internets research to learn more and I think part of the problem is right in line with what I've been reading: sleep and excitement. We've definitely noticed it later in the day, in those lovely witching hours between afternoon snack and bedtime. Typically it is just the first word of whatever he's trying to say over and over and over. Once he gets past that word, he's fine. But now I'm hearing it earlier in the day, usually when he's worked up about something like going potty or playing a game, or when he's talking about preschool.
And that might be the real answer here. Right after we got back from vacation, we got Harrison's letter about preschool and holy moly cow, was he ever excited. He's been asking to go to preschool every day since (we have Open House tonight - hopefully he loves it!). So now I'm wondering if all this excitement he's feeling for school has him all revved up and is impacting his speech. If that's all it is, then we'll be able to give it the recommended five-to-six months and hopefully it will resolve itself.
But here is where my patience level and just-fix-it-ness are really being tested. What I've read says that you really don't want to draw any attention to it because that could make the child self-conscious or embarrassed (or just drive him to do it more for attention). So no telling him to slow down or take a breath or any of those "helpful" sayings. And no repeating the sounds. And no rushing. Just sit and give him the attention he needs to know that you will listen to what he has to say. I should also note that this is hard for me because I'm a bit of magpie myself and have a tendency to pick up on words and phrases that other people use and use them in my own speech patterns. That means I have to make sure that when I say something back to Harrison, I do not repeat unnecessary sounds. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I really do have to be conscious of it.
And I'm asking you to be as well. If you're around my Little Man any time soon, please don't draw any attention to this. I think it is a normal developmental thing and I think that after preschool starts in a week and a half, everything will settle down and he'll go back to being my smooth talker. And if not, then we'll deal with it in an appropriate manner. But no teasing. No rushing. No commenting at all, really, and I think we'll be just fine!
When it comes to parenting, it's more of a curse. I have always been bad about just doing things for Harrison, even though he is perfectly capable. The kid is three and just started dressing himself a few weeks ago all because of me! And what's worse is that I didn't even think of that as a problem. But I'm learning. And I really am trying to slow the flip down and just let him work it out, whatever it happens to be in the given moment. I'm still not good at it, but I'm trying.
My trying is a bit under fire these days...if you've ever been around Harrison, you know he is a very verbal kid. Talks all the time. He started speaking pretty clearly around age two and hasn't slowed down since. Except now, all of the sudden, he is stuttering. And, you know me...I want ever-so-badly to dive in and fix it for him, mostly because it has totally caught me off guard and I know he can speak just fine. At least, I think he can because he always has, up until a couple weeks ago.
After we got back from our little SoDak vacation, we took the kids to their well baby visits (I will always call them well baby visits, even when they are in high school because my kids will always be my babies; that's just how it is). At that time, there were no speech issues to discuss because I'd never once in my life heard HD stutter. And then, two days later, it started. Why?!
I've been trying to do some quick Internets research to learn more and I think part of the problem is right in line with what I've been reading: sleep and excitement. We've definitely noticed it later in the day, in those lovely witching hours between afternoon snack and bedtime. Typically it is just the first word of whatever he's trying to say over and over and over. Once he gets past that word, he's fine. But now I'm hearing it earlier in the day, usually when he's worked up about something like going potty or playing a game, or when he's talking about preschool.
And that might be the real answer here. Right after we got back from vacation, we got Harrison's letter about preschool and holy moly cow, was he ever excited. He's been asking to go to preschool every day since (we have Open House tonight - hopefully he loves it!). So now I'm wondering if all this excitement he's feeling for school has him all revved up and is impacting his speech. If that's all it is, then we'll be able to give it the recommended five-to-six months and hopefully it will resolve itself.
But here is where my patience level and just-fix-it-ness are really being tested. What I've read says that you really don't want to draw any attention to it because that could make the child self-conscious or embarrassed (or just drive him to do it more for attention). So no telling him to slow down or take a breath or any of those "helpful" sayings. And no repeating the sounds. And no rushing. Just sit and give him the attention he needs to know that you will listen to what he has to say. I should also note that this is hard for me because I'm a bit of magpie myself and have a tendency to pick up on words and phrases that other people use and use them in my own speech patterns. That means I have to make sure that when I say something back to Harrison, I do not repeat unnecessary sounds. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I really do have to be conscious of it.
And I'm asking you to be as well. If you're around my Little Man any time soon, please don't draw any attention to this. I think it is a normal developmental thing and I think that after preschool starts in a week and a half, everything will settle down and he'll go back to being my smooth talker. And if not, then we'll deal with it in an appropriate manner. But no teasing. No rushing. No commenting at all, really, and I think we'll be just fine!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
One Year of Blogging
A year ago, today, I posted my first little blurb on my blog. I was very much pregnant and feeling very much alone as well as very much uncertain of what was to come. It is funny how something like typing away at my computer has helped me in so many ways during the last year.
For one, it got me through the rest of my pregnancy without going totally bonkers. I was able to vent and wonder and sometimes just ramble about everything that was going on before, during, and after Raegan's birth; I needed this space to sort it all out and keeping an audience in mind has always helped me organize my thoughts when writing.
For another, blogging has helped me realize that I am not alone in this life or this journey of being a mama. By sharing my own stories and thoughts, and reading or hearing your responses to them, I've learned that so much of what I'm experiencing (good and otherwise) is universal; I take great joy and comfort in that.
So what I would really like to say to those of you reading this is a heartfelt Thank You. Thank You for making me feel like my words and my stories matter. Thank you for allowing me to brag every now and then on my beautiful babies and for giving me the space to doubt and question my role as their mama. I believe that I've become a better, more confidant parent because I've allowed myself to ask those questions and feel those doubts; you've helped me get there by withholding judgment and offering support and suggestions when I needed them.
When I started, I never thought I'd have this much to say (almost 90 posts?!) or that people would actually bother to read it (over 4,600 page views?! Seriously?!). But now I look forward to finding new stories and moments to record here. In the immediate, these writings are for me and for you. In the long term, they are for my children. I want them to know just how much thought (and joy and humor and sometimes even a bit of angst) their mama put in as they were growing. Seeing as I'm still growing too, I don't think we'll have a problem generating more blog material any time soon!
For one, it got me through the rest of my pregnancy without going totally bonkers. I was able to vent and wonder and sometimes just ramble about everything that was going on before, during, and after Raegan's birth; I needed this space to sort it all out and keeping an audience in mind has always helped me organize my thoughts when writing.
For another, blogging has helped me realize that I am not alone in this life or this journey of being a mama. By sharing my own stories and thoughts, and reading or hearing your responses to them, I've learned that so much of what I'm experiencing (good and otherwise) is universal; I take great joy and comfort in that.
So what I would really like to say to those of you reading this is a heartfelt Thank You. Thank You for making me feel like my words and my stories matter. Thank you for allowing me to brag every now and then on my beautiful babies and for giving me the space to doubt and question my role as their mama. I believe that I've become a better, more confidant parent because I've allowed myself to ask those questions and feel those doubts; you've helped me get there by withholding judgment and offering support and suggestions when I needed them.
When I started, I never thought I'd have this much to say (almost 90 posts?!) or that people would actually bother to read it (over 4,600 page views?! Seriously?!). But now I look forward to finding new stories and moments to record here. In the immediate, these writings are for me and for you. In the long term, they are for my children. I want them to know just how much thought (and joy and humor and sometimes even a bit of angst) their mama put in as they were growing. Seeing as I'm still growing too, I don't think we'll have a problem generating more blog material any time soon!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
From Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia to Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang!
In case you haven't noticed, I've sprouted a Chia pet on my head. And if you have noticed, none of you have said anything, which makes each and every one of you my favorite person. I mean, really...Chia pets? I've never been a fan. But apparently, once I got pregnant for the first time, I not only signed up for raising a child but also for having all of my old shirts suddenly seem too short AND crazy weird new hair growth.
I've mentioned before the fall out that I experience after each baby....it's brutal. Last time I chopped my hair because I was so sick of finding the long strands everywhere. After our wedding, I donated my lion's mane to Locks of Love, but I didn't have the 10 inches to do that after Harrison was born. I had about 7.5, so I found the Pink Hearts Fund instead and sent them this (side note: I see they no longer take that length; they have to have 8-10):
At least when my hair was in a bob, I didn't notice the shedding quite so much. The new semicircle of new growth that came in all around the crown of my head, however, was hard to miss. My "halo" (as my hairdresser and I called it) was very strange stuff, although it did adapt well to the new cut by giving me some extra volume on top. What was not-so-good were the little horns that would appear all the way from my temples back to my ponytail if I tried pulling my hair back at all. It took forever for those strands to incorporate in with the rest of my hair (another good reason for keeping it short for as long as I did).
And then I got pregnant again. Re-enter the no-shed joys of pregnancy and then the all-fall-out pains of post-pregnancy. Except this time, I haven't chopped my hair. And my new growth isn't coming in on top of my head; it's coming in all around my hairline instead. This means I can see little baby whispers of hair sticking out pretty much all over the place, especially because my hair is pulled up all the time (b/c a certain smiley 9 1/2 month old loves to stick her grabby little fingers in it otherwise). In the back and above my ears isn't such a big deal. It's the stuff front and center (actually front and left) that is driving me bonkers. While some of these new little hairs stay tamed and concealed by my longer strands, there is particular clump that has been growing, growing, growing since May. It sticks up all poofy- and crazy-like when I pull my hair back and don't even get me started on the last time I straigthened my hair and attempted to straighten Chia along with it (I had a unicorn horn, folks. A unicorn horn!). Here is what Chia looks like most of the time (just lovely, I tell you):
The last time I got a haircut, my hairdresser mentioned that when those new hairs got longer, I might want to consider bangs to cover/incorporate them up a bit. I scoffed at the idea at first because I haven't had full bangs since I was in grade school (too bad I don't have those pictures to share!), and I had roommates in college try - twice! - to cut bangs for me but neither time was a raging success. So I had kind of vowed to myself that I would never, ever again attempt bangs.
But....Chia kept growing, and finally I decided that it's just hair. I can cut bangs and I might love them. Or, I might hate them; if I do, I can chop the rest of it off and they'll grow out soon enough. Whatever. As long as my hairline quits resembling herbs growing on a terracotta head, I'm good. And I don't know about you, but I think this is a much less herby look:
Since I have yet to style them on my own, the verdict on the new bangs is still out. I like the look, though, and hopefully I can manage them all by myself. And really, if it means Chia and I can part ways, then thank goodness!
I've mentioned before the fall out that I experience after each baby....it's brutal. Last time I chopped my hair because I was so sick of finding the long strands everywhere. After our wedding, I donated my lion's mane to Locks of Love, but I didn't have the 10 inches to do that after Harrison was born. I had about 7.5, so I found the Pink Hearts Fund instead and sent them this (side note: I see they no longer take that length; they have to have 8-10):
And then I got pregnant again. Re-enter the no-shed joys of pregnancy and then the all-fall-out pains of post-pregnancy. Except this time, I haven't chopped my hair. And my new growth isn't coming in on top of my head; it's coming in all around my hairline instead. This means I can see little baby whispers of hair sticking out pretty much all over the place, especially because my hair is pulled up all the time (b/c a certain smiley 9 1/2 month old loves to stick her grabby little fingers in it otherwise). In the back and above my ears isn't such a big deal. It's the stuff front and center (actually front and left) that is driving me bonkers. While some of these new little hairs stay tamed and concealed by my longer strands, there is particular clump that has been growing, growing, growing since May. It sticks up all poofy- and crazy-like when I pull my hair back and don't even get me started on the last time I straigthened my hair and attempted to straighten Chia along with it (I had a unicorn horn, folks. A unicorn horn!). Here is what Chia looks like most of the time (just lovely, I tell you):
The last time I got a haircut, my hairdresser mentioned that when those new hairs got longer, I might want to consider bangs to cover/incorporate them up a bit. I scoffed at the idea at first because I haven't had full bangs since I was in grade school (too bad I don't have those pictures to share!), and I had roommates in college try - twice! - to cut bangs for me but neither time was a raging success. So I had kind of vowed to myself that I would never, ever again attempt bangs.
But....Chia kept growing, and finally I decided that it's just hair. I can cut bangs and I might love them. Or, I might hate them; if I do, I can chop the rest of it off and they'll grow out soon enough. Whatever. As long as my hairline quits resembling herbs growing on a terracotta head, I'm good. And I don't know about you, but I think this is a much less herby look:
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Every Night We're Shuffling...
How far we've come in just one week! I can't believe it is even possible to have this much improvement in such a short amount of time. Really, I thought with Raegan being as active and alert as she is that this whole process would take at least three weeks. At least! But just over one week in the books and she's a whole new sleeper. Amazing.
I've been keeping a really good log of her progress. You can see it here, if you like, but it's pretty long and not written to be terribly entertaining or interesting. I've been keeping it for my own purposes (but not editing at all) and will continue to update it. So if you are curious about the nuts and bolts (or are thinking about trying this with your own kids), feel free to read about the details of Raegan's Sleep Shuffle. For those of you who might like the condensed version, I thought I'd write a little highlights report...
Setting up a sleep routine - finally - has been the biggest helping factor for Raegan. It's such a simple thing to do; I can't believe I hadn't already done it with her. But now that we've learned the error of our ways, we have a great little system in place. After a diaper change, I still nurse her but I leave the lights on and I talk to her, especially if I think she's looking drowsy before she's done eating. Then we turn on her fan for white noise, get her in a lovely sleep sack, and read two-three books with Love Bug (more on her in a minute) in our laps. After that, it's lights out and I turn her so she and Love Bug are nestled on my right shoulder. I rock and sing through a lullaby twice (usually "Twinkle, Twinkle" or "You Are My Sunshine" - lately she has started joining in when I start by going, "Dlab bob dob bob" or something along those lines) while I rub her back (by the way, this is my new favorite part of the day...she is so heavy and snugly when she is sleepy; she just rests so peacefully on me during these moments and it makes my heart smile every time). After kisses and putting her down, I make sure Love Bug is by her side and I leave.
At nap, the leaving has become so helpful. The last couple of days she hasn't made a peep and stays in there for at least an hour and a half both times. I tried sitting with her at nap to keep her calm but my presence seemed to have the opposite effect, so I decided to change it up and just walk out and only go back in if she really seemed to need me. She protested during the first few days of this, but never so much that she was distraught. And now it seems to be exactly what she wants. Love it!
Speaking of Love, meet Love Bug:
Here she is shown with Raegan at 3 months and 7 months. It is appropriate that HD is in one of these pictures as well because technically, I bought this caterpillar for him when he was little. Shhhhh! Don't tell his sister!!! He never really took to it so it was pretty much like brand new, anyway, and when I found it in a tote of baby toys, I thought, "Great! Raegan can have it!" And while I wouldn't say there was an immediate connection, Love Bug is growing on her. The whole Sleep Lady thing suggests having a lovey, and as we know, stuffed animals sure have helped Harrison, so I picked Love Bug as Raegan's first stuffed animal friend. Should she want to choose differently some day, so be it. For now, though, Love Bug is working well.
As for nighttime, we've had some major success there as well. Twice Raegan has slept for 11.5 hours (actually 12, one night!) without making a single sound. OK, she did make a peep at 9:00 last night, but whatever - she's still a rock star! Considering that this is the girl who would wake up every 2-3 hours all night long every night and need to be nursed or rocked or shushed or all of the above (and all of this was still happening up until a week and a half ago) is a-maz-ing. Apparently she was as ready for more independent sleep as the rest of us!
Our biggest challenge, by far, has been the night wakings. Because she was so accustomed to waking all the time and always being put back down while nursing, learning to put herself back to sleep has proven to be far more difficult than putting herself to sleep in the first place. We've tried, as the book suggests, to go back to our designated Shuffle spot (we move the chair every three days, which means by now, because her room is so small, we're already out in the hallway!) and comfort her from there with quiet noises/shushing so she knows she isn't alone. Really? It seems to piss her off more than help her. We still are trying to do it, but a lot of nights have found Ben or I in that darn chair for an hour or more to no avail; we eventually go back to bed and she eventually puts herself back to sleep. I hide my head under my pillow a lot. Not sure if we're doing this part "right" or how it is much different from cry-it-out, but she's got to learn and we've got to give her the space to do it; looking at how well and how quickly she's adjusted to the nap/pre-bed stuff tells me that for sure.
Even though I know it would be a quick fix for those middle of the night cry sessions, I'm pretty relieved to no longer be nursing her to sleep all the time. I was nervous about cutting out all those night feedings, but clearly I know she's not starving. If anything, she's nursing more efficiently now when I do sit down with her, AND she's doing better with her solids, too. Really, all I can see are positives here, so I am so glad that I dusted off that book and gave it another shot.
While I wish I could say that all of this better sleep for Raegan has meant better sleep for me (and Ben), that has yet to be the case. Poor Harrison. Potty training and Daddy going back to school have really thrown him for a loop and now he's the one getting up two or three times a night. *Sigh*. I mean, *Deep Breath*. We will get there. And maybe it will even happen before the kids are in middle school!
I've been keeping a really good log of her progress. You can see it here, if you like, but it's pretty long and not written to be terribly entertaining or interesting. I've been keeping it for my own purposes (but not editing at all) and will continue to update it. So if you are curious about the nuts and bolts (or are thinking about trying this with your own kids), feel free to read about the details of Raegan's Sleep Shuffle. For those of you who might like the condensed version, I thought I'd write a little highlights report...
Setting up a sleep routine - finally - has been the biggest helping factor for Raegan. It's such a simple thing to do; I can't believe I hadn't already done it with her. But now that we've learned the error of our ways, we have a great little system in place. After a diaper change, I still nurse her but I leave the lights on and I talk to her, especially if I think she's looking drowsy before she's done eating. Then we turn on her fan for white noise, get her in a lovely sleep sack, and read two-three books with Love Bug (more on her in a minute) in our laps. After that, it's lights out and I turn her so she and Love Bug are nestled on my right shoulder. I rock and sing through a lullaby twice (usually "Twinkle, Twinkle" or "You Are My Sunshine" - lately she has started joining in when I start by going, "Dlab bob dob bob" or something along those lines) while I rub her back (by the way, this is my new favorite part of the day...she is so heavy and snugly when she is sleepy; she just rests so peacefully on me during these moments and it makes my heart smile every time). After kisses and putting her down, I make sure Love Bug is by her side and I leave.
At nap, the leaving has become so helpful. The last couple of days she hasn't made a peep and stays in there for at least an hour and a half both times. I tried sitting with her at nap to keep her calm but my presence seemed to have the opposite effect, so I decided to change it up and just walk out and only go back in if she really seemed to need me. She protested during the first few days of this, but never so much that she was distraught. And now it seems to be exactly what she wants. Love it!
Speaking of Love, meet Love Bug:
As for nighttime, we've had some major success there as well. Twice Raegan has slept for 11.5 hours (actually 12, one night!) without making a single sound. OK, she did make a peep at 9:00 last night, but whatever - she's still a rock star! Considering that this is the girl who would wake up every 2-3 hours all night long every night and need to be nursed or rocked or shushed or all of the above (and all of this was still happening up until a week and a half ago) is a-maz-ing. Apparently she was as ready for more independent sleep as the rest of us!
Our biggest challenge, by far, has been the night wakings. Because she was so accustomed to waking all the time and always being put back down while nursing, learning to put herself back to sleep has proven to be far more difficult than putting herself to sleep in the first place. We've tried, as the book suggests, to go back to our designated Shuffle spot (we move the chair every three days, which means by now, because her room is so small, we're already out in the hallway!) and comfort her from there with quiet noises/shushing so she knows she isn't alone. Really? It seems to piss her off more than help her. We still are trying to do it, but a lot of nights have found Ben or I in that darn chair for an hour or more to no avail; we eventually go back to bed and she eventually puts herself back to sleep. I hide my head under my pillow a lot. Not sure if we're doing this part "right" or how it is much different from cry-it-out, but she's got to learn and we've got to give her the space to do it; looking at how well and how quickly she's adjusted to the nap/pre-bed stuff tells me that for sure.
Even though I know it would be a quick fix for those middle of the night cry sessions, I'm pretty relieved to no longer be nursing her to sleep all the time. I was nervous about cutting out all those night feedings, but clearly I know she's not starving. If anything, she's nursing more efficiently now when I do sit down with her, AND she's doing better with her solids, too. Really, all I can see are positives here, so I am so glad that I dusted off that book and gave it another shot.
While I wish I could say that all of this better sleep for Raegan has meant better sleep for me (and Ben), that has yet to be the case. Poor Harrison. Potty training and Daddy going back to school have really thrown him for a loop and now he's the one getting up two or three times a night. *Sigh*. I mean, *Deep Breath*. We will get there. And maybe it will even happen before the kids are in middle school!
Sleep Shuffle Log
Morning Two: Rough night. RL woke up shortly after 10 and it was shortly after midnight before she calmed down and went back to sleep. Ben sat with the whole time; he said it was brutal. She actually did really well the rest of the night, staying in her crib until a little after 7 this morning, even though her brother threw a raging fit at 3:15 a.m. Ben couldn't get him to calm down or stay in bed, so I had to go in and lay with him until 4:45 when he finally went back to bed. I heard Raegan twice during that time but both times she went right back to sleep. We went all night without nursing, so again, I have proof that she can do it (but wow, physically difficult for me to wait that long, especially because I didn't sneak in and do a dream feed at all).
Day Two: More mad going down for morning nap, but also went down faster (and still on her own - woot!). Second nap also a solo success. Whew!
Night Two: 15 minutes, folks. 15 minutes! She wasn't nearly as mad and she continued to do well even though poor Harrison is now struggling with sleep worse than he has in months. :(
Morning Three: RL woke only once during the night & it only lasted half an hour. BIG improvement over the last two nights! HD woke at the same time & it only lasted 5 minutes, no meltdowns. Also a BIG improvement from last night! We actually all got to sleep until a little before 6 when HD got up; RL & I stayed upstairs dozing on & off until a little after 7. Loving this success!!!
Day Three: Morning nap was a success; put herself down w/ relatively low levels of angst and slept to just shy of the perfect 1.5 mark. Afternoon nap, not going so well. 1/2 an hour alone & still not asleep. Not (totally) pissed. Just not asleep. Considering going in for a diaper change. Diaper checked. No sabatoge poo, as I had expected/hoped. Changed her anyway and sang another lullabye. Put her back down (not happy with me). Still took another 15-20 minutes for her to calm down and go to sleep. Fell asleep just in time for HD to awake. So it goes.
Night Three: Calm after five minutes (and I almost thought I had her), but still took another 15-20 for her to fall asleep. Lots of rolling around in the crib, picking her head up a few times, and a few whimpers. Tomorrow we move the chair next to the door (& I'm home by myself for nap and bed times. Heaven help me!).
Morning Four: Ugh. So much for our half hour episode the night before. Right after B & I went to bed at 10:30 last night, RL started making noise. At first we thought she had put herself back down, but then the cries became more consistent and definitely more awake. He went in & sat with her (it's always his turn b/c I've been the one to sit with her at the initial bedtime), this time for over an hour. That's when he decided he wasn't helping (and was possibly making it worse), and came back to bed. Our room is rightthere. It's not like we can't hear her! Honestly, no clue what time she fell asleep. I think I was asleep by 12:30 or 1:00, which means she must have been as well b/c I certainly don't sleep if she's not! HD stayed in his room all night, that is, until 5:40 which is when he's been getting up the last few days. RL slept through that, though, and she and I got up a little after 7:15.
Day Four: Morning nap was a bit short. This afternoon I had to put HD down as well so I had to leave RL downstairs which means I have no idea when she fell asleep. Going to close my eyes now; getting them to close theirs is exhausting.
Night Four: Talk about a curve ball. Ben had open house at school tonight, so I had to go solo on the shuffle plus deal with Harrison's bedtime routine (dare I say, shenanigans?), too. Plus it was the first night of moving to a new position in RL's room. Oy! Actually, though, she did great. Again, it was right at the 20 minute mark that I was able to leave. She was more upset for the first 5 minutes or so, but I think that was in part in response to Harrison b/c he kept coming out of his room to see what I was doing with her. I got him to stay put for the next 15 minutes with books in his room and bam! Little Sister out. Unfortunatly, it is just past 10 & she's already doing her night-waking-freak-out-session that we seem to have to have every night yet. Hopefully it doesn't last long! & it didn't! Less than five minutes & she's totally quiet again, all on her own. Yes!
Morning Five: Raegan did an amazing job. Other than that 10:00 noise, we didn't hear a peep out of her all night long. Harrison, however, was in our room at 2 or 3 and then again bright and early at 5:40. Ben made him use the bathroom and then go back to his room, but too late - Raegan started making noise a little after 6:00 from all the commotion. She continued to do that on and off until 7 when I did her dramatic wake up to start the day. So she's a little groggy this morning, but really had a great night.
Day Five: Morning Nap = great success. Put her down and opted not to sit with her at all this time. Initial protest cries lasted a few minutes but then she calmed right down and went to sleep. Will have to wake her soon to preserve Afternoon Nap start time....She put herself down again but I have no idea when because of this whole kids napping on different floors of the house thing. Not so thrilled with the arrangement. I don't like not being able to hear her while she falls asleep. And the afternoon nap last less than an hour! :( Tried a diaper change and nursing session to get her back down, but almost 15 minutes later & still no dice.
Night Five: Poor naps today, so I moved up bedtime and started the routine with her at 6:00 instead of 6:30. Things went pretty well and she was out by 6:20. I have no idea what this will mean for the rest of the night...if the early go to sleep time will impact the wake up time or quality of sleep or anything else. We'll just have to see. But she was a tired girl (clearly) and needed it.
Morning Six: Wow. High Five! Cartwheels! Fireworks! Raegan slept for 12 straight hours - not a peep. Unbelievable. (now if only the boys hadn't woken me up at 3:30 and 5, I might actually feel rested!)
Day Six: Morning nap came early because of the 6:30 start time to our day, but she did great, once again. HD & I hang out downstairs or outside for pretty much her whole nap; that seems to help. Pretty mad going down for afternoon nap, but seems to be quiet now (and in less than 15 minutes from when I put her down, so really not so bad). Argh! Another short afternoon nap! But just did some reading on sleeplady.com and discovered that the night comes first, then morning nap, and finally, afternoon nap and not waking too early in the morning. Huh! I had no idea. So it seems as though RL is on track; we just need to keep working on it. Not sure at this point if I need to go in and try to get her back down or just let her work it out for another 15 minutes or so. Tricky stuff, this nap training business. Weird day. Ended up giving her a third nap at 4:00 because her second one was just too short & bedtime was still too far off.
Night Six: Last night of the chair being in her room; tomorrow we move out into the hallway. 15 minutes seems to be her wind-down period. Rather vocal and lots of movement/happy noises for about 10 minutes & then by 15 minutes, she was quiet. Made noise when HD got up to potty but put herself right back to sleep.
Morning Seven: Up and crying from 11-12. Made noise again starting at 5 something; from then on she would be mad for 5 minutes or so and then doze for 15 or so. Wake up time is 6:30. Not a great night, but also not the worst. Getting easier for me to go all night without nursing; hoping that isn't impacting my milk supply.
Day Seven: Wow. I think I just nailed it on a sleep window for morning nap. That was incredible. We did our quick nursing session, read two books, and then it was lights out for rocking/singing a lullabye. When she's tired, Raegan weighs about 10 extra pounds, and she just nestled all heavy and sweet on my shoulder as I rubbed her back and sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" to her. Then I gave her kisses, put her down & left the room. Haven't heard a sound out of her. May I continue to improve like this! Afternoon went smooth and easy, too, with her anyway.
Night Seven: Started the process early because she was up from afternoon nap before 2:00. Thought she was maybe asleep after five minutes (without a single whimper, even though I moved my chair to the hallway tonight), but then after ten minutes of quiet, she started bumping around in her crib. Did that for a couple minutes and then settled down again, for good. 15-20 minutes seems to be her magic mark. Just made noise now, about three hours in for her night, but seems calm again already.
Morning Eight: Argh. Another rough night. All was quiet until 3:15, then RL started making noise every 10-15 minutes. Shortly before 4, I got up to check/change her diaper, just in case (it wasn't poopy as I had hoped). Then we had to sit and shush for an hour and she still wasn't asleep. Gave up, crawled back into bed and let her work her it out until shortly before 5:30. Ben got up at 6:30 for school, Harrison got up at 6:50 to join Daddy downstairs, and Raegan woke me for good at 7:10. Someday, someday, we'll get to a full night's sleep! I guess that should read, "Somenight, somenight."
Day Eight: Brilliant. Again - did the routine, cuddled and sang, and she was out without a fuss. Love this! Afternoon nap as well. Both were about 1.5 hours. Wish we could get that second one to go past the 2:00 mark, but I'll take what I can get, and her sleeping this well on her own during the day is MARVELOUS!
Night Eight: Rock star. Again. I didn't shush once and only sat in the chair for 10, maybe 12 minutes. Small whimper after 9:00, nothing else.
Morning Nine: Amazing! She did it again! Well, not quite 12 hours, but 11.5, so I am celebrating her success. Not a peep until her poopy diaper woke her right around 6. Me? I'm still tired b/c HD was up twice during the night. Stupid potty training; it seems to have set back his sleep quite a bit.
Day Nine: Morning nap started early b/c of early wake up, but as it's been the last few days - sweet, snuggles, sleep! I haven't been sitting with her any more at naps, not even for a few minutes and that seems to have helped a lot. Welp, too much bragging about naps, apparently. Put her down over 15 minutes ago and she's still not asleep. Not super mad, but not asleep. Actually, it might have been like this the last couple days; I wouldn't know b/c I've had to be upstairs (unsuccessfully) trying to put Harrison down for nap. She did do a slightly longer morning nap, but I thought she would be OK w/ that since she got up early this morning. All is not lost yet; just have to give her time to work it out and fall asleep. Poo. Took her 35ish to fall asleep and she only stayed that way for 35ish. Still letting her chill in the Pack'and'Play right now. Not sure what to do? Check her? Change her? Try to put her back down? Bummer.
Night Nine: Well, weird day, semi-weird night. Decided to go out adventuring with the whole fam this afternoon, so that little catnap she got was it for the afternoon. Started bed process shortly after 6 & laid her in bed solo just before 6:30. Still only took about 15 minutes, but she was more upset than she's been for a few days. Didn't get as many solids in her today, either, so could be an interesting night.
Morning Ten: Not a peep (from either kid!!!) until Raegan made a little noise shortly before 5. They ping-ponged every 20 minutes or so from there until we got everyone up at 6:15. The dramatic wake up seems to help everybody get going for the day (except for Mama who just really wants to stay in bed until 7:30); Harrison especially gets a kick out of running around telling everyone "Good Morning! Good Morning!"
Day Ten: Morning nap process started a little before 8:15 since wake up was so early. As soon as I put her down, I crashed in the bedroom across the hall and we both napped until 10:30. Actually, she was still out when I went in to get her, but I figured two hours was probably too long already, so I didn't want her to do any more than that. Afternoon nap was so-so to get to, but I think she's asleep now. Love having Ben home on the weekends to help get HD down; here's hoping I have more success in the coming week when I'm back to being on my own for both during the day! Final note on naps for the day - she still didn't sleep past 2:00. This time, perhaps, because of a dirty diaper. Not sure how we're going to stretch her...probably need to make sure the morning nap isn't so long.
Night Ten: First night in a new spot for the chair. Actually, it is the final spot for the chair. After the next two nights, we'll just be putting her down and walking totally out of sight (but still within ear range to make sure she's doing OK in there by herself. No fussing tonight and not too much moving around in the crib, either. Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention that for the last couple days, whenever I put her on my shoulder to sing, she joins in, going, "Dlab dob bob dob" or something along those lines. She just does it at first and then settles in while I finish. Soooo sweet!
Morning Eleven: Great night; bad morning. Raegan slept really well (and very quietly!) until just before 5:00. Then she was MAD, mad, mad. I went to check her diaper because normally she gets quiet again, at least in little chunks, but it was only wet. Insert more MAD, mad, mad after that whole exchange. Harrison started getting up around 5:30, and shortly after 6, Ben took him downstairs. I waited a bit longer for RL, hoping she'd go back to sleep, but no luck; so, dramatic wake up & start the day it was. Going to give her a few more days to see if this is really her wake up pattern or just another night waking that we need to get through. If it is an early bird pattern, then the book has some tips for trying to stretch the kiddo. All I know is, starting the day at 5:00 is not my preferred route. Waaaaaaaaaaay too early for this mama.
Day Eleven: Morning nap went well; I woke her up just after an hour and a half in hopes of preserving afternoon nap. So far, so good on the second nap. Still took her over 15 or 20 minutes to be totally quiet in there, but she wasn't super cranky. Hasn't had a dirty diaper yet today, so I'm hoping that doesn't ruin the afternoon nap like it did yesterday. Can we get her past 2:00??? We'll see. Maybe if we can start stretching this nap, her mornings will stretch as well. & she did it - napped until 2:30ish, although I don't think she was down until after 1:00.
Night Eleven: Seemed to be a bit more moving around tonight but in all reality, it was still only about 20 minutes & there were no major protests.
Morning Twelve: Well, she did make it a wee bit later in the morning...she didn't wake up mad, mad, mad until just before 5:30. Still ugh, though. Hoping to stretch her later SOON. Funny side note: when we went upstairs to go to bed last night, we found Harrison IN our bed! I noticed our little side French door thingers were open, so I turned on a night light, and sure enough - there was Little Man, sound asleep in our bed. He's never done that before and he transferred just fine, but the whole thing was pretty funny. I had quite the giggle fit when I saw him curled up on the edge of our bed, no pillow or blankets or anything. Guess he likes us!
Day Twelve: Morning nap was fine; she woke up just about the time I was going to go in and get her. Afternoon nap took a little bit longer to get to, but I could see it coming b/c she didn't seem quite as drowsy when I put her in the pack'and'play before going upstairs to put HD down for his nap. So I know it was after 1:00 before she fell asleep but then she slept until 3ish, so that's great.
Night Twelve: This is it. Our last night of being in sight of her as she goes to sleep. Tomorrow I move the chair back downstairs and Ben will have the honor of putting her down and then walking out to monitor her from out of sight because I'll be teaching my first class at that time. So really the timing should be great b/c he'll have to walk out & go deal w/ Harrison anyway! Hope she handles it well and treats him kindly. AND hoping she doesn't have us all up before 6 tomorrow. Poor Harrison; he was yawning at 8:30 this morning!
Morning Thirteen: Oh, wow. Best night yet! Raegan made a tiny noise a little after 10:30, but then she was quiet until 6:20!!!!!! There are not enough !!'s in the world to express how much better this was than the last several days. HD was up at 4:00, so Ben and I slept pretty lightly from 4-6, but still, there was no screaming baby involved, so all was well.
Day Thirteen: Well, poo. Morning nap got pushed back just a wee bit because of wee training for HD and it took over 1/2 an hour for RL to fall asleep. So that meant it was 10:45 b/f I woke her up, and now, at 1:15, she's still not asleep for her second nap. Not sure if it's b/c she wasn't up long enough in between or things are too messed up or I screwed up by leaving the room for a minute between nursing the routine or what. But not good. Baby Girl needs to nap! She needs to be on her best behavior for her daddy tonight while I'm at class! Well, she got there. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't fast, but she did it.
Night Thirteen: Ben did it! He got Raegan through her routine (for the first time!) while keeping Harrison at bay long enough, and he got her in the crib just in time to fall asleep super easy and peaceful. Yay, Daddy!
Morning Fourteen: Well, back to the 5:25 business. She did at least doze off and on for half and hour and then she was mad/awake. Got everyone up a little after 6:00. I have to say, early as this morning was, I actually feel better today because last night was the first night I didn't toss and turn and wake up at 3:00, expecting a child to wake me up. First full night of rest for this mama in ages.
Day Fourteen: 8:30 and she's already out. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes at 7:30 when I was getting her breakfast started. Got through the oatmeal and Cherrios and now she's konked out in her pack'and'play. Slept long for first nap and was still totally out when I went in to get her. Second nap went fine, although it took her a little bit to fall asleep (she never sounded super made, though).
Night Fourteen: Got to bed a little late because of Open House for Harrison's preschool, but she handled it like a trooper. This was my first time to put her down and walk completely out of sight. I did so and didn't hear a peep out of her. She did just make some noise now, two hours in, but seems to be doing OK again.
Morning Fifteen: Started making noise about 5:45, so not great, not terrible. Got up right about 6:00 (to a dirty diaper, again).
Day Fifteen: Morning nap was 1 1/2 hours, no fuss. Afternoon nap = not happening yet & has been down for 35 minutes or so. Was quiet to start; now she's crying.
Night Fifteen:
Day Two: More mad going down for morning nap, but also went down faster (and still on her own - woot!). Second nap also a solo success. Whew!
Night Two: 15 minutes, folks. 15 minutes! She wasn't nearly as mad and she continued to do well even though poor Harrison is now struggling with sleep worse than he has in months. :(
Morning Three: RL woke only once during the night & it only lasted half an hour. BIG improvement over the last two nights! HD woke at the same time & it only lasted 5 minutes, no meltdowns. Also a BIG improvement from last night! We actually all got to sleep until a little before 6 when HD got up; RL & I stayed upstairs dozing on & off until a little after 7. Loving this success!!!
Day Three: Morning nap was a success; put herself down w/ relatively low levels of angst and slept to just shy of the perfect 1.5 mark. Afternoon nap, not going so well. 1/2 an hour alone & still not asleep. Not (totally) pissed. Just not asleep. Considering going in for a diaper change. Diaper checked. No sabatoge poo, as I had expected/hoped. Changed her anyway and sang another lullabye. Put her back down (not happy with me). Still took another 15-20 minutes for her to calm down and go to sleep. Fell asleep just in time for HD to awake. So it goes.
Night Three: Calm after five minutes (and I almost thought I had her), but still took another 15-20 for her to fall asleep. Lots of rolling around in the crib, picking her head up a few times, and a few whimpers. Tomorrow we move the chair next to the door (& I'm home by myself for nap and bed times. Heaven help me!).
Morning Four: Ugh. So much for our half hour episode the night before. Right after B & I went to bed at 10:30 last night, RL started making noise. At first we thought she had put herself back down, but then the cries became more consistent and definitely more awake. He went in & sat with her (it's always his turn b/c I've been the one to sit with her at the initial bedtime), this time for over an hour. That's when he decided he wasn't helping (and was possibly making it worse), and came back to bed. Our room is rightthere. It's not like we can't hear her! Honestly, no clue what time she fell asleep. I think I was asleep by 12:30 or 1:00, which means she must have been as well b/c I certainly don't sleep if she's not! HD stayed in his room all night, that is, until 5:40 which is when he's been getting up the last few days. RL slept through that, though, and she and I got up a little after 7:15.
Day Four: Morning nap was a bit short. This afternoon I had to put HD down as well so I had to leave RL downstairs which means I have no idea when she fell asleep. Going to close my eyes now; getting them to close theirs is exhausting.
Night Four: Talk about a curve ball. Ben had open house at school tonight, so I had to go solo on the shuffle plus deal with Harrison's bedtime routine (dare I say, shenanigans?), too. Plus it was the first night of moving to a new position in RL's room. Oy! Actually, though, she did great. Again, it was right at the 20 minute mark that I was able to leave. She was more upset for the first 5 minutes or so, but I think that was in part in response to Harrison b/c he kept coming out of his room to see what I was doing with her. I got him to stay put for the next 15 minutes with books in his room and bam! Little Sister out. Unfortunatly, it is just past 10 & she's already doing her night-waking-freak-out-session that we seem to have to have every night yet. Hopefully it doesn't last long! & it didn't! Less than five minutes & she's totally quiet again, all on her own. Yes!
Morning Five: Raegan did an amazing job. Other than that 10:00 noise, we didn't hear a peep out of her all night long. Harrison, however, was in our room at 2 or 3 and then again bright and early at 5:40. Ben made him use the bathroom and then go back to his room, but too late - Raegan started making noise a little after 6:00 from all the commotion. She continued to do that on and off until 7 when I did her dramatic wake up to start the day. So she's a little groggy this morning, but really had a great night.
Day Five: Morning Nap = great success. Put her down and opted not to sit with her at all this time. Initial protest cries lasted a few minutes but then she calmed right down and went to sleep. Will have to wake her soon to preserve Afternoon Nap start time....She put herself down again but I have no idea when because of this whole kids napping on different floors of the house thing. Not so thrilled with the arrangement. I don't like not being able to hear her while she falls asleep. And the afternoon nap last less than an hour! :( Tried a diaper change and nursing session to get her back down, but almost 15 minutes later & still no dice.
Night Five: Poor naps today, so I moved up bedtime and started the routine with her at 6:00 instead of 6:30. Things went pretty well and she was out by 6:20. I have no idea what this will mean for the rest of the night...if the early go to sleep time will impact the wake up time or quality of sleep or anything else. We'll just have to see. But she was a tired girl (clearly) and needed it.
Morning Six: Wow. High Five! Cartwheels! Fireworks! Raegan slept for 12 straight hours - not a peep. Unbelievable. (now if only the boys hadn't woken me up at 3:30 and 5, I might actually feel rested!)
Day Six: Morning nap came early because of the 6:30 start time to our day, but she did great, once again. HD & I hang out downstairs or outside for pretty much her whole nap; that seems to help. Pretty mad going down for afternoon nap, but seems to be quiet now (and in less than 15 minutes from when I put her down, so really not so bad). Argh! Another short afternoon nap! But just did some reading on sleeplady.com and discovered that the night comes first, then morning nap, and finally, afternoon nap and not waking too early in the morning. Huh! I had no idea. So it seems as though RL is on track; we just need to keep working on it. Not sure at this point if I need to go in and try to get her back down or just let her work it out for another 15 minutes or so. Tricky stuff, this nap training business. Weird day. Ended up giving her a third nap at 4:00 because her second one was just too short & bedtime was still too far off.
Night Six: Last night of the chair being in her room; tomorrow we move out into the hallway. 15 minutes seems to be her wind-down period. Rather vocal and lots of movement/happy noises for about 10 minutes & then by 15 minutes, she was quiet. Made noise when HD got up to potty but put herself right back to sleep.
Morning Seven: Up and crying from 11-12. Made noise again starting at 5 something; from then on she would be mad for 5 minutes or so and then doze for 15 or so. Wake up time is 6:30. Not a great night, but also not the worst. Getting easier for me to go all night without nursing; hoping that isn't impacting my milk supply.
Day Seven: Wow. I think I just nailed it on a sleep window for morning nap. That was incredible. We did our quick nursing session, read two books, and then it was lights out for rocking/singing a lullabye. When she's tired, Raegan weighs about 10 extra pounds, and she just nestled all heavy and sweet on my shoulder as I rubbed her back and sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" to her. Then I gave her kisses, put her down & left the room. Haven't heard a sound out of her. May I continue to improve like this! Afternoon went smooth and easy, too, with her anyway.
Night Seven: Started the process early because she was up from afternoon nap before 2:00. Thought she was maybe asleep after five minutes (without a single whimper, even though I moved my chair to the hallway tonight), but then after ten minutes of quiet, she started bumping around in her crib. Did that for a couple minutes and then settled down again, for good. 15-20 minutes seems to be her magic mark. Just made noise now, about three hours in for her night, but seems calm again already.
Morning Eight: Argh. Another rough night. All was quiet until 3:15, then RL started making noise every 10-15 minutes. Shortly before 4, I got up to check/change her diaper, just in case (it wasn't poopy as I had hoped). Then we had to sit and shush for an hour and she still wasn't asleep. Gave up, crawled back into bed and let her work her it out until shortly before 5:30. Ben got up at 6:30 for school, Harrison got up at 6:50 to join Daddy downstairs, and Raegan woke me for good at 7:10. Someday, someday, we'll get to a full night's sleep! I guess that should read, "Somenight, somenight."
Day Eight: Brilliant. Again - did the routine, cuddled and sang, and she was out without a fuss. Love this! Afternoon nap as well. Both were about 1.5 hours. Wish we could get that second one to go past the 2:00 mark, but I'll take what I can get, and her sleeping this well on her own during the day is MARVELOUS!
Night Eight: Rock star. Again. I didn't shush once and only sat in the chair for 10, maybe 12 minutes. Small whimper after 9:00, nothing else.
Morning Nine: Amazing! She did it again! Well, not quite 12 hours, but 11.5, so I am celebrating her success. Not a peep until her poopy diaper woke her right around 6. Me? I'm still tired b/c HD was up twice during the night. Stupid potty training; it seems to have set back his sleep quite a bit.
Day Nine: Morning nap started early b/c of early wake up, but as it's been the last few days - sweet, snuggles, sleep! I haven't been sitting with her any more at naps, not even for a few minutes and that seems to have helped a lot. Welp, too much bragging about naps, apparently. Put her down over 15 minutes ago and she's still not asleep. Not super mad, but not asleep. Actually, it might have been like this the last couple days; I wouldn't know b/c I've had to be upstairs (unsuccessfully) trying to put Harrison down for nap. She did do a slightly longer morning nap, but I thought she would be OK w/ that since she got up early this morning. All is not lost yet; just have to give her time to work it out and fall asleep. Poo. Took her 35ish to fall asleep and she only stayed that way for 35ish. Still letting her chill in the Pack'and'Play right now. Not sure what to do? Check her? Change her? Try to put her back down? Bummer.
Night Nine: Well, weird day, semi-weird night. Decided to go out adventuring with the whole fam this afternoon, so that little catnap she got was it for the afternoon. Started bed process shortly after 6 & laid her in bed solo just before 6:30. Still only took about 15 minutes, but she was more upset than she's been for a few days. Didn't get as many solids in her today, either, so could be an interesting night.
Morning Ten: Not a peep (from either kid!!!) until Raegan made a little noise shortly before 5. They ping-ponged every 20 minutes or so from there until we got everyone up at 6:15. The dramatic wake up seems to help everybody get going for the day (except for Mama who just really wants to stay in bed until 7:30); Harrison especially gets a kick out of running around telling everyone "Good Morning! Good Morning!"
Day Ten: Morning nap process started a little before 8:15 since wake up was so early. As soon as I put her down, I crashed in the bedroom across the hall and we both napped until 10:30. Actually, she was still out when I went in to get her, but I figured two hours was probably too long already, so I didn't want her to do any more than that. Afternoon nap was so-so to get to, but I think she's asleep now. Love having Ben home on the weekends to help get HD down; here's hoping I have more success in the coming week when I'm back to being on my own for both during the day! Final note on naps for the day - she still didn't sleep past 2:00. This time, perhaps, because of a dirty diaper. Not sure how we're going to stretch her...probably need to make sure the morning nap isn't so long.
Night Ten: First night in a new spot for the chair. Actually, it is the final spot for the chair. After the next two nights, we'll just be putting her down and walking totally out of sight (but still within ear range to make sure she's doing OK in there by herself. No fussing tonight and not too much moving around in the crib, either. Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention that for the last couple days, whenever I put her on my shoulder to sing, she joins in, going, "Dlab dob bob dob" or something along those lines. She just does it at first and then settles in while I finish. Soooo sweet!
Morning Eleven: Great night; bad morning. Raegan slept really well (and very quietly!) until just before 5:00. Then she was MAD, mad, mad. I went to check her diaper because normally she gets quiet again, at least in little chunks, but it was only wet. Insert more MAD, mad, mad after that whole exchange. Harrison started getting up around 5:30, and shortly after 6, Ben took him downstairs. I waited a bit longer for RL, hoping she'd go back to sleep, but no luck; so, dramatic wake up & start the day it was. Going to give her a few more days to see if this is really her wake up pattern or just another night waking that we need to get through. If it is an early bird pattern, then the book has some tips for trying to stretch the kiddo. All I know is, starting the day at 5:00 is not my preferred route. Waaaaaaaaaaay too early for this mama.
Day Eleven: Morning nap went well; I woke her up just after an hour and a half in hopes of preserving afternoon nap. So far, so good on the second nap. Still took her over 15 or 20 minutes to be totally quiet in there, but she wasn't super cranky. Hasn't had a dirty diaper yet today, so I'm hoping that doesn't ruin the afternoon nap like it did yesterday. Can we get her past 2:00??? We'll see. Maybe if we can start stretching this nap, her mornings will stretch as well. & she did it - napped until 2:30ish, although I don't think she was down until after 1:00.
Night Eleven: Seemed to be a bit more moving around tonight but in all reality, it was still only about 20 minutes & there were no major protests.
Morning Twelve: Well, she did make it a wee bit later in the morning...she didn't wake up mad, mad, mad until just before 5:30. Still ugh, though. Hoping to stretch her later SOON. Funny side note: when we went upstairs to go to bed last night, we found Harrison IN our bed! I noticed our little side French door thingers were open, so I turned on a night light, and sure enough - there was Little Man, sound asleep in our bed. He's never done that before and he transferred just fine, but the whole thing was pretty funny. I had quite the giggle fit when I saw him curled up on the edge of our bed, no pillow or blankets or anything. Guess he likes us!
Day Twelve: Morning nap was fine; she woke up just about the time I was going to go in and get her. Afternoon nap took a little bit longer to get to, but I could see it coming b/c she didn't seem quite as drowsy when I put her in the pack'and'play before going upstairs to put HD down for his nap. So I know it was after 1:00 before she fell asleep but then she slept until 3ish, so that's great.
Night Twelve: This is it. Our last night of being in sight of her as she goes to sleep. Tomorrow I move the chair back downstairs and Ben will have the honor of putting her down and then walking out to monitor her from out of sight because I'll be teaching my first class at that time. So really the timing should be great b/c he'll have to walk out & go deal w/ Harrison anyway! Hope she handles it well and treats him kindly. AND hoping she doesn't have us all up before 6 tomorrow. Poor Harrison; he was yawning at 8:30 this morning!
Morning Thirteen: Oh, wow. Best night yet! Raegan made a tiny noise a little after 10:30, but then she was quiet until 6:20!!!!!! There are not enough !!'s in the world to express how much better this was than the last several days. HD was up at 4:00, so Ben and I slept pretty lightly from 4-6, but still, there was no screaming baby involved, so all was well.
Day Thirteen: Well, poo. Morning nap got pushed back just a wee bit because of wee training for HD and it took over 1/2 an hour for RL to fall asleep. So that meant it was 10:45 b/f I woke her up, and now, at 1:15, she's still not asleep for her second nap. Not sure if it's b/c she wasn't up long enough in between or things are too messed up or I screwed up by leaving the room for a minute between nursing the routine or what. But not good. Baby Girl needs to nap! She needs to be on her best behavior for her daddy tonight while I'm at class! Well, she got there. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't fast, but she did it.
Night Thirteen: Ben did it! He got Raegan through her routine (for the first time!) while keeping Harrison at bay long enough, and he got her in the crib just in time to fall asleep super easy and peaceful. Yay, Daddy!
Morning Fourteen: Well, back to the 5:25 business. She did at least doze off and on for half and hour and then she was mad/awake. Got everyone up a little after 6:00. I have to say, early as this morning was, I actually feel better today because last night was the first night I didn't toss and turn and wake up at 3:00, expecting a child to wake me up. First full night of rest for this mama in ages.
Day Fourteen: 8:30 and she's already out. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes at 7:30 when I was getting her breakfast started. Got through the oatmeal and Cherrios and now she's konked out in her pack'and'play. Slept long for first nap and was still totally out when I went in to get her. Second nap went fine, although it took her a little bit to fall asleep (she never sounded super made, though).
Night Fourteen: Got to bed a little late because of Open House for Harrison's preschool, but she handled it like a trooper. This was my first time to put her down and walk completely out of sight. I did so and didn't hear a peep out of her. She did just make some noise now, two hours in, but seems to be doing OK again.
Morning Fifteen: Started making noise about 5:45, so not great, not terrible. Got up right about 6:00 (to a dirty diaper, again).
Day Fifteen: Morning nap was 1 1/2 hours, no fuss. Afternoon nap = not happening yet & has been down for 35 minutes or so. Was quiet to start; now she's crying.
Night Fifteen:
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Six Years and Counting
In the six years that we've been married, Ben and I have had some remarkable and some altogether forgettable anniversaries. Sorry, Honey, but it's true. I honestly can't remember what on earth we did for our fourth anniversary. As in, not a clue. But for nostalgia's sake (and in hopes of never forgetting another one), let's reminisce about the other five times we've celebrated August 5th....
First Anniversary (2007): Ben found out that spring/summer that he needed to have his wisdom teeth out, and let me tell you, it was no easy task. Ben has some extra bones in his mouth that make for an orthodontist's dream in terms of pay day. As you can imagine, to have wisdom teeth in such a mouth removed, he had to be knocked out completely and it was full on oral surgery. Somehow, this was scheduled for right before our anniversary. No biggie. We didn't have any plans, anyway, so I played wifey and did my best to take care of my sore, chipmunk cheeked hubby. One problem. I had a cold and had just gotten my hands on the final Harry Potter book. I wasn't sleeping because I couldn't breathe through my nose (plus all the reading) and Ben was still camped out in the chaise in the living room because his whole head was still hurting. So, the night before our anniversary, we ordered pizza and I stayed up to finish my book. After midnight, we pulled our cake top out to see if that really works or not. Turns out, it does! Our wedding cake was awesome on the big day and apparently my mom and I wrapped it well because that top tier still tasted great after a year in our deep freeze. So even though we were both not feeling great, our first 365 celebration was a great success.
Second Anniversary (2008): The fall after we were married, we took a long-weekend-honeymoon-esq-trip to the Black Hills. The summer of '08 saw us taking another trip, this time to Africa with an alumni group from Doane (it had been six years since I traveled there as a Doane student). We spent three weeks in Tanzania, Kenya, and Rwanda. It wasn't really a honeymoon because we were traveling with six or seven other couples, but it was an amazing adventure. It also took an amazingly long 24+ hours to get all the way to NE from Rwanda when we returned which just so happened to be after midnight on August, 5. We crashed at Ben's parents but then had to hit the road the next day, totally jet lagged, because I had to report the following day for new teacher meetings at Palmer Public School (yeah, not such great timing for that, especially since I didn't know about it until after we got back!). We traveled home along Highway Six, which I happen to remember quite distinctly because Ben got pulled over for speeding in Filmore County. Oops! Thankfully he just a warning ticket (which I pasted into the back of our Africa scrapbook). I guess you could call the warning and not a fine the NE State Patrol's anniversary present to us!
Third Anniversary (2009): Baby Welsch #1 was due on August 2nd. He was born on July 22. That meant by the time our third wedding anniversary rolled around, we had been proud parents for exactly two weeks. My mom had come back down to see us and get a baby fix, and she insisted that we do something fun for our anniversary. Funny how Harry Potter keeps cropping up here, but a new movie was out at that time, so that's what we decided to do for our "fun" outing. I nursed teeny tiny Harrison, handed him off to Grandma, and we left for the movie. The problem with HP stuff is that it is llllloooonnngggg. When you add to that all the previews and the few minutes of driving time to get to the theatre, we ended up being gone a bit too long. We came home to a screaming baby who clearly wanted to eat but hadn't been left any bottles because we still hadn't introduced that by then. My poor mother; HD left a mark on her arm because he wanted to nurse that badly and Mom's forearm was the only thing he could get at it. Clearly traumatized by all of this, we did not go out for an anniversary dinner. Pretty sure we got take out so we could eat at the house and be ready for the next nursing session. Funny how children so immediately change your priorities and plans, eh?
Fourth Anniversary ( 2010): Yep. Still no clue. I tried looking back through my iPhoto albums to see what we were doing then but there are no pictures from the 5th and all that bookend it are just random shots of Harrison doing stuff around the house. It's a mystery, I guess!
Fifth Anniversary (2011): The first weekend in August is prime family reunion time, and sure enough, both of our families were gathering then. Unfortunately, they were at different locations, so we had to pick just one to attend. The Jansens were meeting at Mahoney State Park, which is awesomely close to us; the 5th happened to be the first day of the reunion. We spent the morning taking Harrison to the Lincoln Children's Zoo (which he loved), and then we headed to Mahoney. It was hotter than flippin' hot that whole weekend and I was uber-pregnant as well, but we had a good time seeing family and entertaining HD at the state park. We even remembered to take a photo on our actual anniversary!
Sixth Anniversary (2012): Another summer, another trip. And again, this one was to see the Jansen fam. This time we went to Pierre to visit my grandpa, and aunt and uncle (and my mom, who met us there). This was our first time ever staying with kiddos in a hotel and they were both got colds the day before we left. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, but actually, the travel and time in Pierre went really well. Unfortunately, HD & RL shared their germs with the two of us, so Ben and I were both feeling just peachy by the time we packed up and headed back to NE, which just so happened to be on August 5. The children decided to give us a wonderful present, though, and slept for just over half of the trip home; it was so lovely and kind of them because I was really hurting thanks to all the sinus congestion (oddly similar to our first anniversary....weird). In a way, though, it's so fitting that I've been sick on a couple of our anniversaries. When Ben proposed to me, I had the nastiest cold and was pretty much a mess. I knew that he really loved me because otherwise he never would have asked for my sneezing, sniffling, coughing, aching hand in marriage! That he still loves me (tissues, cough drops, and all) six years later, is a sign of great things yet to come for us.
First Anniversary (2007): Ben found out that spring/summer that he needed to have his wisdom teeth out, and let me tell you, it was no easy task. Ben has some extra bones in his mouth that make for an orthodontist's dream in terms of pay day. As you can imagine, to have wisdom teeth in such a mouth removed, he had to be knocked out completely and it was full on oral surgery. Somehow, this was scheduled for right before our anniversary. No biggie. We didn't have any plans, anyway, so I played wifey and did my best to take care of my sore, chipmunk cheeked hubby. One problem. I had a cold and had just gotten my hands on the final Harry Potter book. I wasn't sleeping because I couldn't breathe through my nose (plus all the reading) and Ben was still camped out in the chaise in the living room because his whole head was still hurting. So, the night before our anniversary, we ordered pizza and I stayed up to finish my book. After midnight, we pulled our cake top out to see if that really works or not. Turns out, it does! Our wedding cake was awesome on the big day and apparently my mom and I wrapped it well because that top tier still tasted great after a year in our deep freeze. So even though we were both not feeling great, our first 365 celebration was a great success.
Second Anniversary (2008): The fall after we were married, we took a long-weekend-honeymoon-esq-trip to the Black Hills. The summer of '08 saw us taking another trip, this time to Africa with an alumni group from Doane (it had been six years since I traveled there as a Doane student). We spent three weeks in Tanzania, Kenya, and Rwanda. It wasn't really a honeymoon because we were traveling with six or seven other couples, but it was an amazing adventure. It also took an amazingly long 24+ hours to get all the way to NE from Rwanda when we returned which just so happened to be after midnight on August, 5. We crashed at Ben's parents but then had to hit the road the next day, totally jet lagged, because I had to report the following day for new teacher meetings at Palmer Public School (yeah, not such great timing for that, especially since I didn't know about it until after we got back!). We traveled home along Highway Six, which I happen to remember quite distinctly because Ben got pulled over for speeding in Filmore County. Oops! Thankfully he just a warning ticket (which I pasted into the back of our Africa scrapbook). I guess you could call the warning and not a fine the NE State Patrol's anniversary present to us!
Third Anniversary (2009): Baby Welsch #1 was due on August 2nd. He was born on July 22. That meant by the time our third wedding anniversary rolled around, we had been proud parents for exactly two weeks. My mom had come back down to see us and get a baby fix, and she insisted that we do something fun for our anniversary. Funny how Harry Potter keeps cropping up here, but a new movie was out at that time, so that's what we decided to do for our "fun" outing. I nursed teeny tiny Harrison, handed him off to Grandma, and we left for the movie. The problem with HP stuff is that it is llllloooonnngggg. When you add to that all the previews and the few minutes of driving time to get to the theatre, we ended up being gone a bit too long. We came home to a screaming baby who clearly wanted to eat but hadn't been left any bottles because we still hadn't introduced that by then. My poor mother; HD left a mark on her arm because he wanted to nurse that badly and Mom's forearm was the only thing he could get at it. Clearly traumatized by all of this, we did not go out for an anniversary dinner. Pretty sure we got take out so we could eat at the house and be ready for the next nursing session. Funny how children so immediately change your priorities and plans, eh?
Fourth Anniversary ( 2010): Yep. Still no clue. I tried looking back through my iPhoto albums to see what we were doing then but there are no pictures from the 5th and all that bookend it are just random shots of Harrison doing stuff around the house. It's a mystery, I guess!
Fifth Anniversary (2011): The first weekend in August is prime family reunion time, and sure enough, both of our families were gathering then. Unfortunately, they were at different locations, so we had to pick just one to attend. The Jansens were meeting at Mahoney State Park, which is awesomely close to us; the 5th happened to be the first day of the reunion. We spent the morning taking Harrison to the Lincoln Children's Zoo (which he loved), and then we headed to Mahoney. It was hotter than flippin' hot that whole weekend and I was uber-pregnant as well, but we had a good time seeing family and entertaining HD at the state park. We even remembered to take a photo on our actual anniversary!
Sixth Anniversary (2012): Another summer, another trip. And again, this one was to see the Jansen fam. This time we went to Pierre to visit my grandpa, and aunt and uncle (and my mom, who met us there). This was our first time ever staying with kiddos in a hotel and they were both got colds the day before we left. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, but actually, the travel and time in Pierre went really well. Unfortunately, HD & RL shared their germs with the two of us, so Ben and I were both feeling just peachy by the time we packed up and headed back to NE, which just so happened to be on August 5. The children decided to give us a wonderful present, though, and slept for just over half of the trip home; it was so lovely and kind of them because I was really hurting thanks to all the sinus congestion (oddly similar to our first anniversary....weird). In a way, though, it's so fitting that I've been sick on a couple of our anniversaries. When Ben proposed to me, I had the nastiest cold and was pretty much a mess. I knew that he really loved me because otherwise he never would have asked for my sneezing, sniffling, coughing, aching hand in marriage! That he still loves me (tissues, cough drops, and all) six years later, is a sign of great things yet to come for us.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Benched
In November of 2009, I seriously injured my back. The thing is, I have no idea how I did it. One minute I was sitting on the couch holding my just-over-three-months-old baby boy. The next, I was trying to stand up with him in my arms but couldn't quite get to a fully upright position because my back was locked/frozen/jammed in place. It hurt. A lot.
Since then the pain has come and gone. For the first year and a half it, I was pretty miserable quite often. I had a hard time sitting for any extended period of time, whether that meant on the floor with Harrison or in a car traveling somewhere or just to eat supper. It was most frustrating because I never knew when it might lock up and hurt again. I'd go for a week or two with no major problems, then have another episode. In that time I went to countless chiropractor appointments, massage therapists, physical therapy, an orthopedic doctor, and even had x-rays and an MRI done. No one could tell me what was wrong. "You're young. You're fit." they would say. That gets old pretty fast when your supposedly young and fit body continues to fail you. Then, even though I wasn't sure how it would go, I got pregnant for the second time.
Flash forward to about halfway through my pregnancy with Raegan. My back was so out of whack on a trip to see family in SoDak for the Fourth of July that I was beginning to wonder how I would make it to my due date in late October. I wasn't even that big yet, but I didn't know how much more my back could take.
Then, later that week, Harrison and I happened to crash a play date at a park here in town. A friend who was there, who had had her second baby earlier that year, asked how I was feeling. I mentioned the back thing and she said that I should see this chiropractor in Grand Island; he had helped her at the end of her pregnancy. I got the number from her but didn't think much of it, especially since he wasn't even in town and I was already seeing a chiropractor here. When my back locked again a few days later as HD and I were playing at the Children's Museum, I was so glad to have that number and yet another avenue of help to try. Fed up and almost in tears, I called and made my first appointment.
By the time I was 7 months pregnant, I was feeling better than I had since before the initial incident...not something you hear most women say about their third trimester of a pregnancy! But somehow we found the right course of treatment and got me to stop popping/overextending my back. With time and consistency, it has just worked. Thank goodness! I still get sore some days and am still pretty careful about how I sit or stand or play with the kids, but for the most part, I do OK.
Re-enter into my life, stage left, running. Running is something I loved to do Before Children; it made me feel strong and accomplished. Although I haven't done it in close to four years, I decided to give it a go again this summer when a friend asked me to be part of a relay team for the BFE road race here at the end of August. I started training and even though I was super sore, I was also excited about getting back into the groove of running.
Then, for no apparent reason, my back started to ache. As did my left hip. A lot. Being the stubborn and competitive girl that I am, I kept to my training schedule last week and over the weekend; while I completed my runs in decent times, they did not feel good. It was like I couldn't knock the rust off, even after a couple miles.
So today found me back at my doctor's office, having everything checked out and talking about my options. There is nothing new wrong, exactly, but something that I'm doing is aggravating my sacrum (a.k.a. my trouble spot) and the muscles around which, causing the constant pain and aching. Clearly the only new something that I'm doing is running. While the good doctor is all for me getting back into it eventually/slowly, now is apparently not that time. He doesn't want me doing anything more than a mile if/when I run, which just doesn't cut it for a road race relay team. Call me benched and bummed.
I hated backing out on my group, but I had to because I've worked so hard to get back to a place physically where I even feel like running, much less can actually do it. I don't want to lose all of that progress by pushing too hard, too fast. So no BFE for me. Not this year anyway. Slow and steady will have to win this race!
Since then the pain has come and gone. For the first year and a half it, I was pretty miserable quite often. I had a hard time sitting for any extended period of time, whether that meant on the floor with Harrison or in a car traveling somewhere or just to eat supper. It was most frustrating because I never knew when it might lock up and hurt again. I'd go for a week or two with no major problems, then have another episode. In that time I went to countless chiropractor appointments, massage therapists, physical therapy, an orthopedic doctor, and even had x-rays and an MRI done. No one could tell me what was wrong. "You're young. You're fit." they would say. That gets old pretty fast when your supposedly young and fit body continues to fail you. Then, even though I wasn't sure how it would go, I got pregnant for the second time.
Flash forward to about halfway through my pregnancy with Raegan. My back was so out of whack on a trip to see family in SoDak for the Fourth of July that I was beginning to wonder how I would make it to my due date in late October. I wasn't even that big yet, but I didn't know how much more my back could take.
Then, later that week, Harrison and I happened to crash a play date at a park here in town. A friend who was there, who had had her second baby earlier that year, asked how I was feeling. I mentioned the back thing and she said that I should see this chiropractor in Grand Island; he had helped her at the end of her pregnancy. I got the number from her but didn't think much of it, especially since he wasn't even in town and I was already seeing a chiropractor here. When my back locked again a few days later as HD and I were playing at the Children's Museum, I was so glad to have that number and yet another avenue of help to try. Fed up and almost in tears, I called and made my first appointment.
By the time I was 7 months pregnant, I was feeling better than I had since before the initial incident...not something you hear most women say about their third trimester of a pregnancy! But somehow we found the right course of treatment and got me to stop popping/overextending my back. With time and consistency, it has just worked. Thank goodness! I still get sore some days and am still pretty careful about how I sit or stand or play with the kids, but for the most part, I do OK.
Re-enter into my life, stage left, running. Running is something I loved to do Before Children; it made me feel strong and accomplished. Although I haven't done it in close to four years, I decided to give it a go again this summer when a friend asked me to be part of a relay team for the BFE road race here at the end of August. I started training and even though I was super sore, I was also excited about getting back into the groove of running.
Then, for no apparent reason, my back started to ache. As did my left hip. A lot. Being the stubborn and competitive girl that I am, I kept to my training schedule last week and over the weekend; while I completed my runs in decent times, they did not feel good. It was like I couldn't knock the rust off, even after a couple miles.
So today found me back at my doctor's office, having everything checked out and talking about my options. There is nothing new wrong, exactly, but something that I'm doing is aggravating my sacrum (a.k.a. my trouble spot) and the muscles around which, causing the constant pain and aching. Clearly the only new something that I'm doing is running. While the good doctor is all for me getting back into it eventually/slowly, now is apparently not that time. He doesn't want me doing anything more than a mile if/when I run, which just doesn't cut it for a road race relay team. Call me benched and bummed.
I hated backing out on my group, but I had to because I've worked so hard to get back to a place physically where I even feel like running, much less can actually do it. I don't want to lose all of that progress by pushing too hard, too fast. So no BFE for me. Not this year anyway. Slow and steady will have to win this race!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Six Songs of Me
So I stumbled upon this great little article on npr the other day, all about the music you listen to and how it defines you. I've always been such a music lover, and my tastes have changed and grown over the years, so this struck me as a particularly interesting exercise. The task? Name six songs that define You by answering the following questions:
1) What was the first song you ever bought?
2) What songs always gets you dancing?
3) What song takes you back to your childhood?
4) What is your perfect love song?
5) What song would you want at your funeral?
6) Time for an encore. One last song that makes you, you.
Actually, when I first read the questions, I was intimidated. There are so. many. good. songs. How to pick? How to remember the very first song I ever bought? How to sum up myself in one song?! I realize this might take me far more time than I should devote to it, but I'm going to do it anyway....
First Song
"You Outta Know" by Alanis Morissette
Apparently my memory is not great because I do not remember the first song I ever bought. Perhaps because there have been so many??? I do know that the very first CD I ever owned was Hootie and the Blowfish's Cracked Rear View. C'mon. Don't judge. I was in middle school in the mid-90's. Hootie was hot and I was all about my Top 40 radio at the time (still am, on given days). But that was a gift, so my best educated guess would be Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill album. I know it's one of the few I had in both cassette and then later CD form, so obviously I was pretty keen on it. Truth? I've always loved Alanis. Pretty sure I have every one of her albums. Favorite line from one of her songs? "I'm thirteen again; am I thirteen for good?" I so have those days!
Dance, Dance
"Seventeen Years" by Ratatat
I am not a fan of techno or electronica. At all. But a few years ago, a music buff friend burned a ton of mp3s for me and to my surprise, this little gem by Ratatat became an instant classic on my playlist. There are no lyrics, just a ridiculously catchy beat that gets me going very time. Seriously. I have been known to throw my arms over my head and full on jam out to this track, even when I'm on the elliptical!
Young at Heart
"Ripplin' Waters" by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (slow start, but the audio is there)
Growing up, my mom would blast music on Saturdays when we needed to clean the house; it's a wonderful trick for turning not-so-fun work into enjoyable activity and I plan to use the same tactic with my own children. We listened to all kinds of late 80's/early 90's artists like Wilson Phillips and Michael Bolton. Lots of classic rock, too, including The Eagles. But what really sticks out would be The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I loved the tape we had and am pretty sure that I stole it when I left for college (sorry, Mom & Dad! I promise I'll get you an updated replacement soon!). My favorite track, "Ripplin' Waters," stands out because, duh, it has my name in it. :
Love
"You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band.
Wow. This one was hard. There are way too many good love songs. I picked this particular track because it speaks to where I am with love at this point in my life. Ben and I have been married for six years now and parents for three of those. We are a great partnership and the best of friends. Although we don't get much time to ourselves these days, we both still believe that together, we can do anything. This song celebrates that and also speaks to the goals we have for our babies....we work every day in hopes of teaching them how to fly through this world with grace, awareness, and, of course, love.
Goodbye
"Darlin' Do Not Fear" by Brett Dennen
I need more Brett Dennen in my life; that's why, when my life is over, I want to leave my family and friends with some of his music. Dennen's quirky voice, infectious guitar, and thoughtful lyrics get me every time. They make me wonder and they often make me smile, and isn't that what saying goodbye should be all about? Remembering the person while smiling and celebrating the life that was? I sure hope that is how it can be for my loved ones. And maybe this song will help them get there by reminding them that they don't need to fear what is next for me or for them. The worries will pass and the troubles they won't last; you can bet I'll be doing my best to make that happen for them in this life and the next.
Encore
"Bad Bad World" by Guster (if you can, watch this video; it gets me all misty-eyed every time I do!)
I don't know how I could complete this list without including a song from Guster. I've listened to their music more than anyone other band's, so of course they are part of Me. I love this song in particular because it is all about misconceptions. For as much bad news we hear/see/read, and as negative as some times can get, there is still beauty and peace and love out there. I believe you get what you give. I'm working every day to put out a little more good than I did the day before. That's not always easy to do, and some days I don't quite make it, but I bet that if I just keep trying, I won't be disappointed (especially with good music to help me get there).
1) What was the first song you ever bought?
2) What songs always gets you dancing?
3) What song takes you back to your childhood?
4) What is your perfect love song?
5) What song would you want at your funeral?
6) Time for an encore. One last song that makes you, you.
Actually, when I first read the questions, I was intimidated. There are so. many. good. songs. How to pick? How to remember the very first song I ever bought? How to sum up myself in one song?! I realize this might take me far more time than I should devote to it, but I'm going to do it anyway....
First Song
"You Outta Know" by Alanis Morissette
Apparently my memory is not great because I do not remember the first song I ever bought. Perhaps because there have been so many??? I do know that the very first CD I ever owned was Hootie and the Blowfish's Cracked Rear View. C'mon. Don't judge. I was in middle school in the mid-90's. Hootie was hot and I was all about my Top 40 radio at the time (still am, on given days). But that was a gift, so my best educated guess would be Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill album. I know it's one of the few I had in both cassette and then later CD form, so obviously I was pretty keen on it. Truth? I've always loved Alanis. Pretty sure I have every one of her albums. Favorite line from one of her songs? "I'm thirteen again; am I thirteen for good?" I so have those days!
Dance, Dance
"Seventeen Years" by Ratatat
I am not a fan of techno or electronica. At all. But a few years ago, a music buff friend burned a ton of mp3s for me and to my surprise, this little gem by Ratatat became an instant classic on my playlist. There are no lyrics, just a ridiculously catchy beat that gets me going very time. Seriously. I have been known to throw my arms over my head and full on jam out to this track, even when I'm on the elliptical!
Young at Heart
"Ripplin' Waters" by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (slow start, but the audio is there)
Growing up, my mom would blast music on Saturdays when we needed to clean the house; it's a wonderful trick for turning not-so-fun work into enjoyable activity and I plan to use the same tactic with my own children. We listened to all kinds of late 80's/early 90's artists like Wilson Phillips and Michael Bolton. Lots of classic rock, too, including The Eagles. But what really sticks out would be The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I loved the tape we had and am pretty sure that I stole it when I left for college (sorry, Mom & Dad! I promise I'll get you an updated replacement soon!). My favorite track, "Ripplin' Waters," stands out because, duh, it has my name in it. :
"Whoa, Little Jennifer. I'd give a penny for what you got on your mind. Seems like most of the time you're lying there, dreaming. Maybe in your vision you see how our mission is slightly less than divine. Cut the telephone line and the story's the same."
20+ years later and I didn't even have to look up those lyrics; they are with me always, calling to my inner-child and daydreamer. Love
"You and Me" by Dave Matthews Band.
Wow. This one was hard. There are way too many good love songs. I picked this particular track because it speaks to where I am with love at this point in my life. Ben and I have been married for six years now and parents for three of those. We are a great partnership and the best of friends. Although we don't get much time to ourselves these days, we both still believe that together, we can do anything. This song celebrates that and also speaks to the goals we have for our babies....we work every day in hopes of teaching them how to fly through this world with grace, awareness, and, of course, love.
Goodbye
"Darlin' Do Not Fear" by Brett Dennen
I need more Brett Dennen in my life; that's why, when my life is over, I want to leave my family and friends with some of his music. Dennen's quirky voice, infectious guitar, and thoughtful lyrics get me every time. They make me wonder and they often make me smile, and isn't that what saying goodbye should be all about? Remembering the person while smiling and celebrating the life that was? I sure hope that is how it can be for my loved ones. And maybe this song will help them get there by reminding them that they don't need to fear what is next for me or for them. The worries will pass and the troubles they won't last; you can bet I'll be doing my best to make that happen for them in this life and the next.
Encore
"Bad Bad World" by Guster (if you can, watch this video; it gets me all misty-eyed every time I do!)
I don't know how I could complete this list without including a song from Guster. I've listened to their music more than anyone other band's, so of course they are part of Me. I love this song in particular because it is all about misconceptions. For as much bad news we hear/see/read, and as negative as some times can get, there is still beauty and peace and love out there. I believe you get what you give. I'm working every day to put out a little more good than I did the day before. That's not always easy to do, and some days I don't quite make it, but I bet that if I just keep trying, I won't be disappointed (especially with good music to help me get there).
_________________
Music has always had a way of taking me back in time or transforming my mood. These songs are testaments to that. Now I just need to hop on over to Six Songs of Me and share. Maybe you will do the same? If so, share with me, too, please!
_______________
Here it is! My link!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Sleep Shuffle, Night One (unintentionally)
According the my Good Night, Sleep Tight book, I am supposed to report to a friend each morning during the Sleep Shuffle (which can take anywhere from 2-3 weeks) to stay accountable, celebrate the (small) victories, and work out the kinks. West suggests talking to someone who is going through a similar process/phase. To my knowledge, no one I know is doing this with a child right now, so instead I'm going to hold myself accountable via my writing and you, the kind souls who read my posts.
Here goes....
Last night was less than great. We've been home since Sunday after our weekend trip to SoDak (our reason for holding off on starting the Sleep Shuffle any sooner). We knew we needed a couple days/nights to get everyone back on track after getting home, but both kids got sick right before we left for our little vacation, so it didn't really seem like the right time to start sleep training, even though we desperately need some more sleep in our lives. As usual, when RL is under the weather, I revert way back to newborn stage with her and nurse her to sleep every chance I get. No exception this week; that is, no exception this week until last night.
In classic Raegan style, she slept for about three evening hours after I nursed her down for the night. When Ben went up to try to "sssshhhhhush" her back to sleep, she would have none of it. When I went up and tried nursing, she did eat a bit, but she would not go to sleep. It seemed that all she wanted to do was cry and fuss and squirm and scream.
FOR THREE-AND-A-HALF HOURS!!
Wait, I take that back. She did doze off a few times during that block, but it would last maybe 20 or 30 minutes and she'd be making noise again. Ben kept trying to go in there, but nothing he did seemed to help and he eventually got so tired, he could hardly keep himself sitting upright in the rocking chair.
Me? I was hiding in our bedroom with a pillow over my ears. No joke.
Eventually, some time after 1:00 a.m., Raegan fell asleep. And she stayed asleep until 6:40. I wondered if we were in for A Day (especially because this was Ben's first day back for school work days), but I started the nap process with her early and somehow, it all just worked. It wasn't perfect, but twice today, I managed to go through a sleep routine with her, put her in the pack'and'play, sit for a few minutes with her, and then leave. She wasn't asleep either time I did, but she got that way, on her own and without major, major fuss. AND she napped well (which was obviously greatly needed!); so well that I had to wake her up from her morning nap and almost had to do so again for her afternoon one. I even heard her cry out about 30 minutes into the morning nap but she put herself back down, without any assistance from me. Unreal.
OK. Some of you have stopped reading or are about to. You don't care about every little detail of my daughter's naps today. That's OK. I understand. But for me, this is huge. Raegan got some of her best day sleep ever today and got it mostly on her own accord. She is nine months old. This is WAY overdue! So yes, I am rambling on about it because in our little world, it is a BIG DEAL. I had wanted to avoid nursing her to sleep today if I could, in preparation for the upcoming shuffle (which we still hadn't decided when to start), but somehow I accidentally started "nap training" (which is supposed to be the hardest part of all this) and it went freakishly well. Amazing!
Clearly encouraged by my day with Raegge, I decided to plunge in and start the shuffle tonight. If I haven't explained it before, the basic idea is that you stay with the kiddo until they go to sleep but you don't use any sleep crutches to get them there. No nursing, rocking, walking, touching, etc. You let them work it out and find their way, but you stay close. After three nights, you move closer to the door. After another three, you move to the door or just outside the door. And so on and so on until you're out of sight & said kiddo is going to sleep totally solo.
What I didn't fully realize until tonight was that this whole shuffle is really a lot like crying it out but with you in the room. According to West's book, the difference is that because they can see you, they don't feel as abandoned as they might if left to cry alone. I don't know. I'm not an expert on sleep or parenting or anything, really. But we had to try something to get more sleep, and you know what? I think it might be working.
I don't want to be Night One Cocky, but it went much better than I anticipated. Maybe that's because I thought she was going to scream at me for at least 45 minutes. No idea where I go that number; it's just what I had in my head. Thankfully, it only took 25 (see? small victory! yay!). And she didn't scream the whole time. I was surprised, after the fairly peaceful nap sessions, that she screamed as much or as loud or as long as she did, but she eventually calmed down, put her head down on the mattress, and went to sleep. Kind of just like that.
Now we haven't hit her normal evening wake time yet, so that right there is reason enough not to be cocky, but our plan is to use no sleep crutches to get her back to sleep. It might mean that we all (except for HD, who miraculously sleeps through the chaos, most nights) might be a little more tired for a few nights because there won't be any quick-fix nursing sessions to get us all back to sleep. I'm willing to accept that because I honestly believe we'll be better off in the long run. I also believe the long run might not be too far off. If anything, I think we might have been holding Raegan back on this whole sleep thing by rushing in and always doing the work for her. She needs to learn to sleep. Maybe if we just let her flipping figure out what works for her, we can all move on from this dark age of sleep deprivation. You know, she is a rather independent little soul; I could see her liking this whole I Do it My Way thing.
I won't be posting every day on this, but I'll try to keep a log that details our highs and lows. It'll be a good way for me to keep track of it and hopefully keep on track as well. We have a busy fall in front of us; here's hoping we'll be better rested for it soon!
Here goes....
Last night was less than great. We've been home since Sunday after our weekend trip to SoDak (our reason for holding off on starting the Sleep Shuffle any sooner). We knew we needed a couple days/nights to get everyone back on track after getting home, but both kids got sick right before we left for our little vacation, so it didn't really seem like the right time to start sleep training, even though we desperately need some more sleep in our lives. As usual, when RL is under the weather, I revert way back to newborn stage with her and nurse her to sleep every chance I get. No exception this week; that is, no exception this week until last night.
In classic Raegan style, she slept for about three evening hours after I nursed her down for the night. When Ben went up to try to "sssshhhhhush" her back to sleep, she would have none of it. When I went up and tried nursing, she did eat a bit, but she would not go to sleep. It seemed that all she wanted to do was cry and fuss and squirm and scream.
FOR THREE-AND-A-HALF HOURS!!
Wait, I take that back. She did doze off a few times during that block, but it would last maybe 20 or 30 minutes and she'd be making noise again. Ben kept trying to go in there, but nothing he did seemed to help and he eventually got so tired, he could hardly keep himself sitting upright in the rocking chair.
Me? I was hiding in our bedroom with a pillow over my ears. No joke.
Eventually, some time after 1:00 a.m., Raegan fell asleep. And she stayed asleep until 6:40. I wondered if we were in for A Day (especially because this was Ben's first day back for school work days), but I started the nap process with her early and somehow, it all just worked. It wasn't perfect, but twice today, I managed to go through a sleep routine with her, put her in the pack'and'play, sit for a few minutes with her, and then leave. She wasn't asleep either time I did, but she got that way, on her own and without major, major fuss. AND she napped well (which was obviously greatly needed!); so well that I had to wake her up from her morning nap and almost had to do so again for her afternoon one. I even heard her cry out about 30 minutes into the morning nap but she put herself back down, without any assistance from me. Unreal.
OK. Some of you have stopped reading or are about to. You don't care about every little detail of my daughter's naps today. That's OK. I understand. But for me, this is huge. Raegan got some of her best day sleep ever today and got it mostly on her own accord. She is nine months old. This is WAY overdue! So yes, I am rambling on about it because in our little world, it is a BIG DEAL. I had wanted to avoid nursing her to sleep today if I could, in preparation for the upcoming shuffle (which we still hadn't decided when to start), but somehow I accidentally started "nap training" (which is supposed to be the hardest part of all this) and it went freakishly well. Amazing!
Clearly encouraged by my day with Raegge, I decided to plunge in and start the shuffle tonight. If I haven't explained it before, the basic idea is that you stay with the kiddo until they go to sleep but you don't use any sleep crutches to get them there. No nursing, rocking, walking, touching, etc. You let them work it out and find their way, but you stay close. After three nights, you move closer to the door. After another three, you move to the door or just outside the door. And so on and so on until you're out of sight & said kiddo is going to sleep totally solo.
What I didn't fully realize until tonight was that this whole shuffle is really a lot like crying it out but with you in the room. According to West's book, the difference is that because they can see you, they don't feel as abandoned as they might if left to cry alone. I don't know. I'm not an expert on sleep or parenting or anything, really. But we had to try something to get more sleep, and you know what? I think it might be working.
I don't want to be Night One Cocky, but it went much better than I anticipated. Maybe that's because I thought she was going to scream at me for at least 45 minutes. No idea where I go that number; it's just what I had in my head. Thankfully, it only took 25 (see? small victory! yay!). And she didn't scream the whole time. I was surprised, after the fairly peaceful nap sessions, that she screamed as much or as loud or as long as she did, but she eventually calmed down, put her head down on the mattress, and went to sleep. Kind of just like that.
Now we haven't hit her normal evening wake time yet, so that right there is reason enough not to be cocky, but our plan is to use no sleep crutches to get her back to sleep. It might mean that we all (except for HD, who miraculously sleeps through the chaos, most nights) might be a little more tired for a few nights because there won't be any quick-fix nursing sessions to get us all back to sleep. I'm willing to accept that because I honestly believe we'll be better off in the long run. I also believe the long run might not be too far off. If anything, I think we might have been holding Raegan back on this whole sleep thing by rushing in and always doing the work for her. She needs to learn to sleep. Maybe if we just let her flipping figure out what works for her, we can all move on from this dark age of sleep deprivation. You know, she is a rather independent little soul; I could see her liking this whole I Do it My Way thing.
I won't be posting every day on this, but I'll try to keep a log that details our highs and lows. It'll be a good way for me to keep track of it and hopefully keep on track as well. We have a busy fall in front of us; here's hoping we'll be better rested for it soon!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Recipe for Success
In the last year, as I struggled with Harrison and the Terrible Twos, I had more than my fair share of people telling me: "Just wait. Three is worse." 'Scuse me?! No offense, but I wanted to kick each and every one of them in the shins (and some of them are my very dear friends!).
What I've come to realize now, though, as we have moved out of the Twos and into the Threes is that no new age or stage is really any better or any worse; each one is just different. You get different highs and you get different lows at Year Three than you did at Year One. Shoot. I think you get different highs and lows from Month Six to Month Nine (but that's a different post about a different kid!). All of this is a revelation to me because I neither spent much time around young children nor did much babysitting when I was younger. This whole parenting of small ones gig really has been eye opening to say the least.
One of my favorite aspects of watching small ones get bigger is being witness to the growth of their amazing personalities. At three, Harrison is already so, so....well, so Harrison. I can't imagine him any other way. It is intriguing to think about the characteristics he already displays and where they might lead him in life. Here are a few....
Assertive: What can I say? The kid knows what he wants. And, because he is so verbal, he is able to let us know what he wants. I was trying to explain this to a random mom at Baby Weighs last week and her response was, "Oh, so he's argumentative." Well, no. That's not what I meant at all, actually. My example was this: if Harrison asks for something, say birthday cake, and you tell him that sorry, we'd don't have any birthday cake in the house right now (and really, you don't), he will look at you (and sometimes point as well) and say, "Yes you do." OK. So maybe that comes across as argumentative to some, but I don't think he is arguing just to argue. I think that in his three-year-old understanding of the world and words, he believes he can make it so by saying it is so. A friend came up with a great label for this: Jedi in Training. See how good that is?! It's like he's perfecting his Jedi Mind Tricks with these statements and perhaps, someday, he'll change the point to a wave of the hand and maybe say, "Cake you have" and cake there will be. Who knows! (But I wouldn't put it past him!)
Perceptive: Harrison is very good at reading a person's mood or the climate of a room/group. He is able to pick up and run with it, good or bad. If people seem happy and are playing, he dives right in and joins them. Enthusiastically. From our early days when he was a toddler first playing at the Children's Museum to just this last weekend when we were at a park in Pierre, SD, he just goes up to kids and makes friends; he plays with no reservations. His two introverted parents often stand watching him with mouths gaping wide at this continued phenomenon. Seriously. We don't know where he gets it, but his heart is so open to people and the world at large. By the same token, he can often sense when I am upset or frustrated, so I am learning to curb my own attitude so as to not pass so much of it on to him. I sincerely hope I can succeed at this because he already feels so much; I don't want him to have to deal with my emotions all the time, too. Perhaps the sweetest example of this, though, also came during our recent trip to SoDak. Of course it's easy to know that someone is upset when they are crying, as Raegan was doing in her car seat as we went from one activity to the next. It was HD's response that demonstrates his understanding of moods...he leaned toward her as best he could from his own seat and said, "It's OK, Raegge. Don't cry!" and then he proceeded to sing her "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Not only did he get her to stop crying, he even made her laugh before we got to our destination. I could have cried myself at his love and care for her.
Energetic: I used to consider myself an active and even athletic person. Now, compared to my son (and don't even get me started on his sister), I look like a couch potato. Harrison is active and athletic and busy and moving quite a bit. That's just what he does. He occasionally sits still to watch PBS or play on the Campfire, but even those activities don't last more than 30 minutes. We've never taken him to a movie because, quite frankly, I don't think he'd want to sit there for that long to watch it. Lately his favorite TV-related thing to do is play Wii, which as you know, requires you to get off your butt and DO. It is perfect for him. It will be so interesting to see what he decides to do for extracurriculars some day. He absolutely loves music and singing along with songs. He also loves sports and has a remarkable arm for such a little guy. I could see him going far in the arts or athletics. Maybe he'll do both. Doesn't matter to us, so long as he isn't stretched too thin and is enjoying himself. Lord knows he'll have the energy to do a lot; it will be our job to help him find the activities that really fit and allow him to shine.
Intense: If you couldn't tell by the first three attributes I described, Harrison lives big. He says a lot, feels a lot, and does A LOT. Every day he is going, going, going and I think sometimes he gets carried away with all that there in the world or all that he is feeling. All of this makes him a little intense, which is overwhelming for some of the more mellow people we meet in our day-to-day. Because he so often wants to charge ahead in life, we have to work at helping him slow down a bit and give people space; this is hard for him to accept at times, but eventually he will learn that just as people accept his personality and preferences, so too must he accept theirs. Another element of intensity for HD comes through in his rather serious demeanor. This is not to say that he isn't a happy child, but he does not laugh or goof off as easily as some others. Ben and I are also both pretty serious, so we're not sure if he just got this from us or if it is a first born thing or something else. There is nothing wrong with this characteristic; it just means that even with his big imagination, Harrison takes life pretty literally. Trust me - he will let you know if you've taken the wrong road to Kearney or said the wrong words while singing a song! Ben sometimes tries to change words on him on purpose, but like his mama, he doesn't care for teasing as an avenue of humor. I think one of our biggest goals with raising HD may be helping him find comfortable ways that do allow him to see the lighter side of life, for again, he feels so much and he'll need to have ways to release some of that pressure as he grows.
What I've come to realize now, though, as we have moved out of the Twos and into the Threes is that no new age or stage is really any better or any worse; each one is just different. You get different highs and you get different lows at Year Three than you did at Year One. Shoot. I think you get different highs and lows from Month Six to Month Nine (but that's a different post about a different kid!). All of this is a revelation to me because I neither spent much time around young children nor did much babysitting when I was younger. This whole parenting of small ones gig really has been eye opening to say the least.
One of my favorite aspects of watching small ones get bigger is being witness to the growth of their amazing personalities. At three, Harrison is already so, so....well, so Harrison. I can't imagine him any other way. It is intriguing to think about the characteristics he already displays and where they might lead him in life. Here are a few....
Assertive: What can I say? The kid knows what he wants. And, because he is so verbal, he is able to let us know what he wants. I was trying to explain this to a random mom at Baby Weighs last week and her response was, "Oh, so he's argumentative." Well, no. That's not what I meant at all, actually. My example was this: if Harrison asks for something, say birthday cake, and you tell him that sorry, we'd don't have any birthday cake in the house right now (and really, you don't), he will look at you (and sometimes point as well) and say, "Yes you do." OK. So maybe that comes across as argumentative to some, but I don't think he is arguing just to argue. I think that in his three-year-old understanding of the world and words, he believes he can make it so by saying it is so. A friend came up with a great label for this: Jedi in Training. See how good that is?! It's like he's perfecting his Jedi Mind Tricks with these statements and perhaps, someday, he'll change the point to a wave of the hand and maybe say, "Cake you have" and cake there will be. Who knows! (But I wouldn't put it past him!)
Perceptive: Harrison is very good at reading a person's mood or the climate of a room/group. He is able to pick up and run with it, good or bad. If people seem happy and are playing, he dives right in and joins them. Enthusiastically. From our early days when he was a toddler first playing at the Children's Museum to just this last weekend when we were at a park in Pierre, SD, he just goes up to kids and makes friends; he plays with no reservations. His two introverted parents often stand watching him with mouths gaping wide at this continued phenomenon. Seriously. We don't know where he gets it, but his heart is so open to people and the world at large. By the same token, he can often sense when I am upset or frustrated, so I am learning to curb my own attitude so as to not pass so much of it on to him. I sincerely hope I can succeed at this because he already feels so much; I don't want him to have to deal with my emotions all the time, too. Perhaps the sweetest example of this, though, also came during our recent trip to SoDak. Of course it's easy to know that someone is upset when they are crying, as Raegan was doing in her car seat as we went from one activity to the next. It was HD's response that demonstrates his understanding of moods...he leaned toward her as best he could from his own seat and said, "It's OK, Raegge. Don't cry!" and then he proceeded to sing her "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Not only did he get her to stop crying, he even made her laugh before we got to our destination. I could have cried myself at his love and care for her.
Energetic: I used to consider myself an active and even athletic person. Now, compared to my son (and don't even get me started on his sister), I look like a couch potato. Harrison is active and athletic and busy and moving quite a bit. That's just what he does. He occasionally sits still to watch PBS or play on the Campfire, but even those activities don't last more than 30 minutes. We've never taken him to a movie because, quite frankly, I don't think he'd want to sit there for that long to watch it. Lately his favorite TV-related thing to do is play Wii, which as you know, requires you to get off your butt and DO. It is perfect for him. It will be so interesting to see what he decides to do for extracurriculars some day. He absolutely loves music and singing along with songs. He also loves sports and has a remarkable arm for such a little guy. I could see him going far in the arts or athletics. Maybe he'll do both. Doesn't matter to us, so long as he isn't stretched too thin and is enjoying himself. Lord knows he'll have the energy to do a lot; it will be our job to help him find the activities that really fit and allow him to shine.
Intense: If you couldn't tell by the first three attributes I described, Harrison lives big. He says a lot, feels a lot, and does A LOT. Every day he is going, going, going and I think sometimes he gets carried away with all that there in the world or all that he is feeling. All of this makes him a little intense, which is overwhelming for some of the more mellow people we meet in our day-to-day. Because he so often wants to charge ahead in life, we have to work at helping him slow down a bit and give people space; this is hard for him to accept at times, but eventually he will learn that just as people accept his personality and preferences, so too must he accept theirs. Another element of intensity for HD comes through in his rather serious demeanor. This is not to say that he isn't a happy child, but he does not laugh or goof off as easily as some others. Ben and I are also both pretty serious, so we're not sure if he just got this from us or if it is a first born thing or something else. There is nothing wrong with this characteristic; it just means that even with his big imagination, Harrison takes life pretty literally. Trust me - he will let you know if you've taken the wrong road to Kearney or said the wrong words while singing a song! Ben sometimes tries to change words on him on purpose, but like his mama, he doesn't care for teasing as an avenue of humor. I think one of our biggest goals with raising HD may be helping him find comfortable ways that do allow him to see the lighter side of life, for again, he feels so much and he'll need to have ways to release some of that pressure as he grows.
_______________________________
So will Three really be worse than Two? Probably at times. But, hopefully, for the most part, we'll be able to recognize that we are helping shape and bring up an amazing and unique Little Man, and some challenges are just going to have to come with that territory. Clearly Harrison has much to do in this world and will have great
lessons to teach us. We are most blessed to be on this journey with him
(and his big heart and his big brain).
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Ding-Dong!
Growing up in the country, we didn't really have much use for a doorbell. I think our old farmhouse maybe has one by the back door, but clearly if I don't remember ever hearing it or it being in working condition (and my parents have lived there my entire life), it wasn't a dominant fixture in my childhood. What we did have, however, was so much cooler. We had a dinger.
A what you ask? In my life now, a dinger is another word for thinger, both of which are terms I use in place of common nouns or when I can't remember the name of something. Seeing as HD is using the word thinger all the time now, I can tell that I must use it a lot; that should be fun when he starts preschool this fall!
In my past life, though, as a kid growing up in rural South Dakota, a dinger was our version of a doorbell. Essentially, we had one of those tubes that you used to see at service/gas stations that signals to the people inside that someone has driven over it and is now on the property. I have no idea if this a correct dictionary term, nor am I going to bother looking it up; it is just a word that my family uses and understands. Really though, as a kid, it was the coolest thing ever and I think some of my "city friends" (in SoDak, Yankton is considered a city) wished they could have dingers too.
When Ben & I bought our first house, it too had no doorbell. We figured we needed something, so we got one of those lovely devices that allows you stick the bell/button to the outside of the house and then chimes from the box that you simply plug in an outlet anywhere inside your home. Brilliant. I was super excited to have my very first, very own doorbell!
But then we started getting phantom dings. Our chime would go off in the house and we would go to the door, but no one would be there. We'd check the back door and no one would be there either. If you know me at all, you know I do NOT like ghost or horror stories, so this whole ding-dong/nobody did it thing really bothered me for a while.
Then, over time, we started noticing a pattern. Our chime would sound and when we'd check the door, we wouldn't see anyone on our porch but we would see someone standing at our neighbor's front door. After this happened a half dozen times or so, we realized that we had the exact same plug in doorbell as our sweet, older neighbor lady! People ringing her doorbell were making ours sound as well!
Bizarre, but this whole dual doorbell thinger was not really an issue until we got dogs (who freaked when the doorbell "rang"), but even then, it was still not a real issue until Harrison was born (and the freaking out dogs woke the sleeping baby). But, an easy enough solution was before us: unplug the receiver and people could push our button or the neighbor's button all day long and there were no ding-dongs in our house. Perfect.
In our new house, we've not been quite so lucky. Turns out, we have a doorbell and it functions exactly as it should. In fact, it's rather ironic because this doorbell seems to be SO permanent a fixture in our house, that we can't really do a darn thing about it. It is housed in this beautiful light fixture in our downstairs hallway that stays on all. the. time. There's no switch and no way (that we can see) to even take out the bulb (it makes a great nightlight but is also kind of annoying when you don't want light creeping in on sleeping babies when opening bedroom doors - just sayin'). Surely there must be a way, because no light bulb can run forever, but for now, it remains a mystery.
Since there is no current way to disconnect the light, we've also found no way to disconnect the bell. This means that people can ring at our front door or side door any time and we hear it anywhere in the house. Harrison was delighted with this feature of the new digs and for the first few months, he would go running through the house saying, "DING-DONG! DING-DONG!" any time it rang. Hilarious, except for when it happened (twice!) one night as we were getting the kiddos ready for bed.
Thankfully our evening ding-dongs have been relatively few and far between, but in the last few weeks, we have again had bedtime bells. The first time, as I was rocking/nursing Raegan and heard the doorbell, I saw Harrison leave his room. Fortunately, he was not yelling, "DING-DONG!" as he did it. Ben simply walked him back to bed and that was it. The second time he didn't leave his room, although I could tell he wasn't yet asleep. Both times, Raegan somehow managed to stay in her going-to-sleep mode and I escaped the nursery nook, although never in time to see who was at the door. So really, not so much an issue at all, at least not for the kids.
If anything, the real problem in all of this is me. I am still so unaccustomed to having a doorbell that my heart about leaps out of my chest every time I hear it, especially at night. I don't know if this is my country childhood creeping up or some sort of sleep-deprived nervous tick that I've developed...what I do know is that I either need to find a way to dismantle that darn hallway fixture (at least for a few years until we are done having small ones who need to nap and go to bed early), or I need to get after a Pinterest idea and place a sign like this on the front door:
Honestly, I'm not sure which approach I might get to first!
A what you ask? In my life now, a dinger is another word for thinger, both of which are terms I use in place of common nouns or when I can't remember the name of something. Seeing as HD is using the word thinger all the time now, I can tell that I must use it a lot; that should be fun when he starts preschool this fall!
In my past life, though, as a kid growing up in rural South Dakota, a dinger was our version of a doorbell. Essentially, we had one of those tubes that you used to see at service/gas stations that signals to the people inside that someone has driven over it and is now on the property. I have no idea if this a correct dictionary term, nor am I going to bother looking it up; it is just a word that my family uses and understands. Really though, as a kid, it was the coolest thing ever and I think some of my "city friends" (in SoDak, Yankton is considered a city) wished they could have dingers too.
When Ben & I bought our first house, it too had no doorbell. We figured we needed something, so we got one of those lovely devices that allows you stick the bell/button to the outside of the house and then chimes from the box that you simply plug in an outlet anywhere inside your home. Brilliant. I was super excited to have my very first, very own doorbell!
But then we started getting phantom dings. Our chime would go off in the house and we would go to the door, but no one would be there. We'd check the back door and no one would be there either. If you know me at all, you know I do NOT like ghost or horror stories, so this whole ding-dong/nobody did it thing really bothered me for a while.
Then, over time, we started noticing a pattern. Our chime would sound and when we'd check the door, we wouldn't see anyone on our porch but we would see someone standing at our neighbor's front door. After this happened a half dozen times or so, we realized that we had the exact same plug in doorbell as our sweet, older neighbor lady! People ringing her doorbell were making ours sound as well!
Bizarre, but this whole dual doorbell thinger was not really an issue until we got dogs (who freaked when the doorbell "rang"), but even then, it was still not a real issue until Harrison was born (and the freaking out dogs woke the sleeping baby). But, an easy enough solution was before us: unplug the receiver and people could push our button or the neighbor's button all day long and there were no ding-dongs in our house. Perfect.
In our new house, we've not been quite so lucky. Turns out, we have a doorbell and it functions exactly as it should. In fact, it's rather ironic because this doorbell seems to be SO permanent a fixture in our house, that we can't really do a darn thing about it. It is housed in this beautiful light fixture in our downstairs hallway that stays on all. the. time. There's no switch and no way (that we can see) to even take out the bulb (it makes a great nightlight but is also kind of annoying when you don't want light creeping in on sleeping babies when opening bedroom doors - just sayin'). Surely there must be a way, because no light bulb can run forever, but for now, it remains a mystery.
Since there is no current way to disconnect the light, we've also found no way to disconnect the bell. This means that people can ring at our front door or side door any time and we hear it anywhere in the house. Harrison was delighted with this feature of the new digs and for the first few months, he would go running through the house saying, "DING-DONG! DING-DONG!" any time it rang. Hilarious, except for when it happened (twice!) one night as we were getting the kiddos ready for bed.
Thankfully our evening ding-dongs have been relatively few and far between, but in the last few weeks, we have again had bedtime bells. The first time, as I was rocking/nursing Raegan and heard the doorbell, I saw Harrison leave his room. Fortunately, he was not yelling, "DING-DONG!" as he did it. Ben simply walked him back to bed and that was it. The second time he didn't leave his room, although I could tell he wasn't yet asleep. Both times, Raegan somehow managed to stay in her going-to-sleep mode and I escaped the nursery nook, although never in time to see who was at the door. So really, not so much an issue at all, at least not for the kids.
If anything, the real problem in all of this is me. I am still so unaccustomed to having a doorbell that my heart about leaps out of my chest every time I hear it, especially at night. I don't know if this is my country childhood creeping up or some sort of sleep-deprived nervous tick that I've developed...what I do know is that I either need to find a way to dismantle that darn hallway fixture (at least for a few years until we are done having small ones who need to nap and go to bed early), or I need to get after a Pinterest idea and place a sign like this on the front door:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)