Travels with a Toddler

Here, in no particular order, is our Memorial Day whirlwind trip through SoDak to see the Moore/Jansen fams, all through the eyes, comments, and experiences of a little but very loud 2.5-yr-old:

* "Grandpa! You so funny! HAHA (imagine the "haha" in PeeWee Herman's voice, because that's totally what RL sounds like)" - This was in response to Grandpa Tom's "flip eggs" - eggs he cooks in a little skillet and then flips in mid-air to cook the other side. Totally impressive (whether you're 2 or 32), totally tasty, and apparently totally amusing.

* "HAVE TO GO POTTY!!!! HAVE TO GO POTTY NOW!!!!!!!!!" - Oh, dear me. A 2.5-yr-old bladder is not my favorite travel companion. We had four days of travel in five days of the total trip and each day should have been less than 4 hours in the car. Instead, it was always at least 5, if not longer thanks to nursing stops for LT and potty stops for RL. We were insane enough to let her ride in undies the first day, too, so it was really terrifying when we realized that while she would warn us that she had to go, she did not do so until about 90 seconds prior to her pee being a Stage Five emergency. We learned for the remaining legs of the trip to put her in an invisible (the name my kids have for pull-ups) but were still at the mercy of random and frequent roadside pit stops.

* "Cake in the sky? I see it!" - Sunday night while the kids were eating supper, my mom tried to superstitiously show me a fancy cake mix that was stashed on the top shelf of her baking cupboard, except my daughter was clearly paying more attention than Grandma thought, though, because a few minutes after I had given the kill signal and the mix was safely tucked back out of sight, we heard Raegan say this little gem. Cake in the Sky. I like it.

* "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" - Reason my 2.5-yr-old was crying? Just told her she couldn't ride her bike. In the van!!! As we were traveling down the highway!!! Such nerve I have.

* "Want Tiger!" (Daniel Tiger music) "Want book!" (any book would do, but of course it's always better if it is the book her brother is currently reading) "Snack!!!" (Can you say "goldfish?") - Music, reading, and food are our travel coping skills since we don't do videos in the car and holy wow, did Little Miss have a lot of requests as we made our way here, there, and everywhere. And let it be known, if you chose not to listen and/or acknowledge her, she'll just keep saying it, louder and louder, until you do. Consider yourself warned.

* "UP!" Good thing she's little and light. Baby Girl still wants picked up and carried all the time. She does it to me and if my arms are free, I oblige, but typically I'm holding Lincoln, so if her No.1 Person is around, she's perfectly content to be in his arms instead. Because she's tired. Because there was a loud noise. Because she can. It's just that simple.

* After asking "We going home?" every time we got in the car, all long-weekend long, when we finally did hit the road back to Hastings on Memorial Day, we weren't ten miles into Nebraska before she sadly started saying, "Go back to Grandpa's? Want to go back to Grandma's!" It's nice to know she enjoyed the trip and that she loves her family. It's also quite nice to have survived another road trip with three small Littles and be back home. Traveling with a toddler (and her brothers) is not exactly a vacation!

Step Up

The last two afternoons, HD and I have ventured out on Mama & Harrison dates after lunch while the Littles (and quite possibly Ben) napped. Yesterday we left for our date hand-in-hand with HD saying, "Mama, I love being your date." I know in ten years I'm not likely to get anything close like that from him, so I was totally head-over-heels in love with the whole thing. Apparently he was, too, because he told Ben before bed last night that he wanted to get rest so he could go on another date with Mama the next day. Seriously?! How freaking sweet is that? Of course I was totally on board.

For today's date, we ended up at a McDonald's with a play structure in it so I could get an iced coffee and he could play. He saw the play set when we drove by yesterday and I promised we could stop today since we couldn't then. He was so jazzed to go check it out and because he is who is he, he instantly started playing with the other kids who happened to be there. That's just Harrison. For as long as I can remember, he's been willing to go up to anybody anywhere and make friends. He just wants to play and that's it. Doesn't really matter how old the kid is or what they look like. He's got a big heart and a lot of energy and he just wants to play.

Today's new playmate happened to be a little girl the same size as Harrison but who was clearly older (tall kid problems....not even five yet and people are always shocked to hear he's not six) and her sister, also about HD's size but also older. They were there with their grandma and mom who was sitting right next to the play set, feeding their little brother who looked to be somewhere between RL and LT's ages. I mention all of these details because they eventually mattered quite a bit to our experience this afternoon.

Everything went fine at first, and the kids were playing and running because that is the point of the play area at McDonald's. At one point the other mom scolded her daughter for shrieking, but I thought, whatever; as long as people were following the kind/fair rules, I was good with it. Eventually, though, I could hear Harrison saying something like, "I don't like that" or "That's not kind" and something about "break in the action" because the one girl was teasing him. Mad props to my kid. He didn't hit. He didn't yell. He took it in stride and stood up for himself using his words calmly and controlled.

Because Harrison was still smiling and playing, I let the situation run its course for a bit. Eventually the kids ended up right in front of where I was sitting and at this point the girl's sister joined them and she asked how old Harrison was. "I'm seven" she said with the most superiority a seven y/o can muster, and Girl No.1, who had already had this conversation with HD said, "I am older than you, too." And sweet Harrison? He responded by saying, "Yeah, but there are other people like me. Other people are four, too." Which, translated, was him saying, "Yes, I'm different but I'm not alone and it doesn't make you better than me." Again, mad props to my kid. No anger. Just being himself.

Without skipping a beat, Girl No.1 says, "Well, I hate you and nobody likes you."

I'm sorry. WHAT?! I about fell off my chair when I heard her say that. And her mother, who was still sitting right there feeding the little brother, in plain range to hear all of this, did nothing. I stood up to make sure Harrison was OK, and as the other sister ran away, Girl No.1 stopped right in front of Harrison, telling him again that no one liked him, and bumped her belly out to bump HD. That's when my Mama Bear side took over.

"Excuse me," I said. "Please stop touching and talking to him like that." As she scampered off (and her mother still said NOTHING), I put my hand on Harrison's shoulder and asked if he was OK. He made a comment about not liking what they had said and I answered with a (loud enough for everyone to hear), "I know, Buddy. That wasn't nice and it wasn't kind. You don't have to be around that." And I said it loudly on purpose because clearly their mom, who was so concerned about the shrieking, did not care at all that her daughters were teasing and tormenting and physically acting out toward a younger kid (not that it would be OK against an older kid, either). I wanted them to hear, to know, that going around spreading hate - literally - is unacceptable.

Fortunately they packed up within five minutes and left which allowed HD to play on his own a bit before another little girl and her brother showed up who turned out to be much better playmates. We hung around for another ten minutes or so and then continued on to the next part of our date, but man, the whole thing sent me on a weird vibe for a greater part of the afternoon.

In the immediate after, right when they left, I called Harrison over to sit next to me so we could talk about it and I told him I was sorry that the girls said those things and that I loved him. Later, a good hour after we had left, I brought it up again just to make sure he was OK. When I told him that it wasn't true what they said, my heart broke a little when he looked up at me with his beautiful hazel eyes and asked, "It's not?" Oh. Em. Gee. My sweet, sweet boy. Of course not! I told him that no way was what they said true. That he's awesome and that so many people love him. That I love him forever and always. And he smiled and said, "Oh, good. That makes me glad. I love you, too, Mama." And while that final part of the exchange healed my heart a bit, the whole experience made me want to stick him in a bubble and preserve his heart and keep him shielded from all the people out there who don't know how to treat others. But since that's not an option, we have to find a way to teach our kids what we believe: that there is good in the world, that you get what you give, that being kind to others always matters. Of course we are going to encounter evil and hate and negativity in this world and in this life. That is life. But how we respond and how we move forward speaks volumes about our own hearts and character and can hopefully have positive impacts on others.

Do I think today's exchange at McDonald's changed those girls or their mom for the better? Sadly, probably not. But the whole thing gave me an opportunity to remind my son of how special and how loved he is today and every day, and it gave me a fire in my belly to remind other people and parents that our presence is crucial. Is my kid perfect? Far from it, but you can bet if I see him speaking or acting unkindly to another person, I am going to interfere. I am going to call him out on it and if he doesn't change the behavior, he'll be removed from the situation. I'm all for kids working out stuff on their own as much as they can, but you've got to be kidding me. We have to BE the parents here, people. We have to teach them that words are not just words and that it doesn't mean nothing when a six or seven year-old says, "I hate you. Nobody likes you." Words are our best tools and our worst weapons. They matter. And it matters that we teach our babies how to use them properly. I don't care if you are a helicopter, tiger, attachment, or Ferber parent. But by God, I do care if you can't or won't step up to correct your kid when they do something wrong. When kids test these limits, we must teach them the boundaries. We belong to each other. It is our responsibility to give as much love to each other as possible. Love does not mean being a push over. Love does not mean being weak. Love means respect. Our children must learn this from us.

Yo, Teach!

Well, that was awesome. This morning I got to teach my very first yoga class! My MOPS group had their annual closing meeting with a Spa Day as the agenda/activity and I was asked to lead a mini session of yoga as part of it. So thrilled, so honored, and so awesome to do it!

Now, of course I'm not actually a yoga instructor yet, but I have a feeling that I am going to love this new gig after I do my initial certification this summer. That's right; I officially signed up a week ago and will leave right after the 4th of July (LT's first birthday!) to get after it in Omaha.  Again - so thrilled, so honored, so awesome! And after this morning's experience, I feel like my heart and my life are very much headed in the right direction. I have miles to go and much to learn, but I am beyond excited for the journey and the knowledge.

This morning I had a handful and a half of ladies join me for my little basic/intro 20-minute flow and it was so great. I had fun picking my favorite poses to show them, not to mention choosing the songs to accompany our movements; it will be a long time before I run out of asanas and music that I love to fill my classes, that's for sure! I wrote out my flow by hand (and because it was my very first ever class, had to refer back to my notes several times as we went) and practiced it at home both on my own and with my hubs as my first student. Did I make mistakes in my flow or my wording? You bet (and please don't judge my spelling or handwriting if you take a closer look at this picture!). But yoga is a practice and practice makes progress. What better approach to life could there be?

During both practice and the actual session with this flow today, I was so happy. I've been a teacher for, what - almost eight years now? But my heart sings when I teach yoga in ways that it hasn't in other "classrooms." I love sharing something I love with others and seeing their faces light up when they feel or get a pose. So, so cool. And I know how powerful and transformative yoga can be, so if I can be a voice for that to someone else? Thrilled, honored and awesome barely scratch the surface of how that feels.

Build Some Heat

You know, if I ever rename this blog (again), it will absolutely have to have the word "Tuesday" in the title. For seriously. Tuesdays and I just have this thing and it seems like all of my crazy best  crazybest stories come from this day of the week. Today is no exception.

Let me begin by explaining that even though it is mid-May, it's chilly enough this week that we need our heater; this is after a lot of ups and downs and A/C and then the heater and then nothing, repeat, repeat, repeat in the last month-ish of NE Spring/Winter/please make up your mind, Dear Mother Nature weather.

Let me continue by explaining that our heater apparently decided to flip DMN the bird this week and is now on strike. Went to turn it on Sunday night and now it is Tuesday morning and the thing still hasn't fired up or sent any heat our way. OKaaaaaaay. Now, should we ever decide to sell this house, I will kindly ask that you all strike this from your memories, but here's the thing: we've had issues before. We're likely to have issues again. Our house (and its heating and cooling system) are older and obviously have a lot of character. The charm and creaks are why we love the place (OK, not the creaks. I hate very much dislike trying to walk around ALL of the squeaky spots on the hardwood floors - that are beautiful, by the way! - when babies are napping). But really, I don't even blame the furnace. I'm ready to flip DMN the bird here soon myself. I should not need SmartWools and fleece and boots in mid-May! And apparently Ben agrees because even though we have a service plan thingamajigger with a local service shop, he has yet to call about this latest lack of appropriately temperatured air. As a result, I'm having to be very creative today to keep the babies and myself warm until the sun (that is thankfully shining!) hopefully helps me in my efforts later in the day.

Creative Step One: SmartWools or fleecy footed pajamas for everyone. This is how we rolled all winter long, so why not continue now? P.S. Now that we are dressed, we're rolling with the fleece (see first post-voting pic)

Creative Step Two: Bust out the blow dryer so I'm not sitting in the cold with damp hair post-shower (see, Dad?! I did listen to you all those times you told me not to go out with wet hair!), especially since I am fighting off a nasty little head cold right now, as well. Two observations about that: 1) my hair is post-wedding long again - whoohoo! (see other post-voting selfie) and 2) I showered today - WHOOHOOO!

Creative Step Three: Bake. And then bake and bake some more. I've already made a new muffin recipe, a batch of Tuesday Bars (natch, in light of the circumstances and the day), and have wheat rolls going in the bread maker. The crockpot is also working away at supper for tonight (update: sonofa! I thought it was working, but alas, it was plugged in but not turned on! so is my roast still safe to eat, even if it gets cooked in time for supper?) and the dishwasher has already been run - all in hopes of adding a little heat to the house.
Creative Step Four: Space Heaters. OK, that's not really creative, but we've got two of them running and it's almost up to 62 in here, so yea for that. Note to self about older house: two space heaters plus a blow dryer does not work.
Creative Step Five: Coffee and Tea. Clearly this one is just for me (Holy Mother of WOW, my children do not need caffeine!), but I plan to sip my way through the day in hopes of helping the chill and the head cold.

So there you have it. Just another Tuesday in the Welschie household. If you're not afraid of my germs, feel free to come over for some baked goods. Don't forget to bring your slippers and maybe a sweater, too.

Tree Frog

From the very beginning, Lincoln has been a love. Like his daddy, LT runs about 10 degrees warmer than the average bear and wiggly as he is, he still loves a good snuggle. Quite often when I scoop him up off the floor (where he now army crawls with all get-out, usually to get the one thing on the floor that we have overlooked but that he most definitely should not have), he wraps his legs and arms around me and clings on like a little monkey. His sister used to do the exact same thing, shirt grab and all (although she had a few other grab styles at this age, too). But since HD is my monkey (and RL my owl), perhaps I need to amend that statement so it reads that LT clings on like a little tree frog, since that is his given animal. It looks a little something like this:

[And yes, I often end up dressed in similar patterns or colors as at least one of my children; my theory on this is that we are like those couples who spend so much time together, they end up looking like twins.]

While the clinging may not be an original move, Lincoln's head-snuggle-on-the-shoulder when in my arms certainly is. It doesn't happen every time, but quite often when I scoop him up and he clings on, he also leans in for a little extra contact with my collarbones; it is gentle and soft and so, so sweet. So, so him. And today I found out that he is willing to use this charm on others, too.

I had a chiropractor appointment this morning and had to take the two littlest Littles with me; this always ends up being unfortunate because LT is at the age where he gets totally freaked out by the noise of the table when it drops and he starts screeching. My doc and his office staff are quite used to this, though, because it really is an age thing. Raegan used to be the same way and they see it all the time with babies who are tagging along for appointments. Usually the Bigs do their best to entertain/distract him, but today after we were taken back to the exam room, the office assistant who lead us there offered to take Little Man for me so he wouldn't be scared. I decided to risk Stranger Danger vs. Loud Noise Startles and let her scoot out the door with him. [The beauty of the third kid is that you are (or least I am) a lot more wiling to let other people hold your baby for you. As many of my friends will attest, when we are out in public at the Y or Children's Museum or anywhere where someone might need to use the potty and therefore need my assistance, I'm quite good at asking, "Do you mind holding Lincoln for a second?" and then passing him off to the closest volunteer. And they hardly ever mind (or hardly ever tell me so, anyway) because he is so darn chill and snuggle-tastic). So really it was no surprise this morning when he clung on to her side just like his little tree frog self as they left. When she returned him to me five-ish minutes later, she said he didn't make one peep. I could tell she was a wee bit reluctant to hand him back, especially as we were making the exchange and talking about how warm he is and he suddenly decided to pull the shoulder cuddle move causing her to exclaim, "And he does that!" Like I said, someone knows how to work the charm!

You Can Always Change Your Mind

To pick a favorite song, much less a favorite artist/band is impossible. So much depends on so much (said the most vague utterance ever). One group that I've stood by for a decade-plus, though, is Guster. They always make me smile and jam out. In fact, I've written about them before. And before, so if you've been reading along with me for a while, this isn't news. But lately it seems that my children have taken one particular Guster lyric to heart and are currently living it out loud as best they can.

While I have many favorite Guster songs, "Manifest Destiny" is one of my Most Favorite Faves. Thanks to the beauty of the interwebs, you can listen/see it here (please read the next sentence before you click on this, though, esp. if in the presence of wee ones!).  Much as I love "MD" so, I hardly ever play it in front of my kids because of the random (and against their norm) f-bomb in the opening lines. I fully own and accept my own potty mouth but I also do my darndest (by using words like darndest) to watch my language in front of my kids. As it happened a few months ago, though, we were all cruising down the road together, and HD picked Guster to listen to next, so I popped in the Ganging Up on the Sun album and we just let it play. Ben knows me and my music well enough to know what words begin "MD", so as it started, I saw him giving me Uhhh?WhatAreWeGonnaDo? eyebrows from the driver's seat. The music was loud and the kids were jamming out, though, so we did what any quick thinking don't-want-the-babies-swearing-just-yet parents would do - we started coughing loudly over the f-bomb which surprised and delighted our kids to no end. I think they must have requested we start No.3 over four or five times in a row that day and they laughed hysterically every time we carried out our clever cough cover-up.

Apparently we should have kept coughing because to this day they want to hear "MD" all the time and it turns out that the potential profanity was the least of our problems. The lines that come shortly after it and that are repeated throughout the song numerous times and are therefore causing us all kinds of problems are as follows: "Do you want to change your mind? You can alwaaaaaaaays change your mind." Seriously. You should never ever tell a child that this is OK (even though it totally is).

As parents we deal with about a million and two questions/answers/decisions every day. I'm going to throw out another Seriously here because holy mother of wow are there so many Things to decide every day in life with Littles. And lately it seems that our answers and decisions are all up for discussion or flat-out defiance as HD and RL are walking, talking, occasional-tantrum-throwing examples of alwaaaaaaaaays changing their minds.

Perhaps you remember my post about Jekyll and Hyde Miss Raegan? Well she's still at it at all hours of the day. She wants her hair in her face. She wants it up. She does NOT want it up. She wants it up in three ponies. She wants it taken out. She wants the pink pony holder. She wants me to have it. And that is all in the span of three minutes with moods as up and down as her hairstyle. It is darn near impossible to keep up with her activity level much less the attitude.

Harrison is no different when it comes to decisions although thankfully his four-and-a-half-ness makes him slightly less volatile in emotional reactions. But man, the wishy-washies are getting me. It doesn't matter if we are talking about what to have for snack, what to wear, or what game to play, he is going to change his mind. And then change it back. The trickiest example keeps happening on weekends when he has the option to either go somewhere with Ben and Raegan or stay home with me while Lincoln naps. Of course he wants to go. He is a curious and active kid, so why wouldn't he want to go? But lately he keeps saying that he wants to stay home with me. While I'd like the quiet of nap time to myself some mornings, I feel bad telling him no so often I say, "OK; stay home." But then, as soon as Dad and RL are out the door, he starts saying that he really wants to go with them. Usually we can catch them in time and he can tag along, but sometimes we don't and then, well, then the emotions can be quite volatile. So why the yes/no/yes if really it is yes the whole time?!?!

At least the question of "what song would be playing on the soundtrack of my life right now?" (am I the only person who plays this game?) is an easy answer.

Appreciation

Well, Hellooooo, May! The Welschies are so happy you have arrived as it means long days of sunshine and playing outdoors will be upon us very soon. In fact, you have already graced us with some gorgeous days and happy trees, tulips, and tiny plants in our garden, so thank you for that. Of course May in Nebraska also means the end of the school year (and boy, do I feel sorry for all those who go into June!). I have just one more night of teaching for the semester (WhooHoo!) and Ben and Harrison have just a couple-ish weeks left. This month marks the end of a preschool era for HD, though, as his teacher/classroom will change for the first time when he goes to five day preK next fall, so we are approaching the close of this school year with a little bit of bittersweet anticipation as well as a whole lotta thankfulness. We are so excited for the growth and good things to come, while also so, so grateful for everything his two teachers have done for him in the last two years that he's been with them.

I didn't realize what a youngin' HD was when we first sent him (shortly after he turned three), but when I look at how much he has grown (physically and mentally) and learned in that time, I am floored. Preschool has been an amazing opportunity for him and I know that the quality and care of his teachers (not to mention everyone at the Y) has been essential to making it so awesome. This is why we want to mark the end of this year with a little bit of gratitude, and since it happens to be Teacher Appreciation Week (or at least the Great Google tells me so, so I'm going with it), HD will be taking these little gifts to Miss A. and Miss N. tomorrow morning:

Both teachers have been so sweet every time he brings them a gift, hand writing a personalized Thank You note to him, that we decided replenishing their Thank You supply might make for a good gift. It also helps that I know how much HD enjoys getting these notes from them (you would not even believe me if I told you how many times I've had to read them to him!), so I knew he'd be on board with the idea. He got to pick the two colors of cards for each teacher and signed his name on the card where I wrote a message to each teacher.

While he may not have the whole spatial thing down yet to get his whole name (darn eight letters long!) in the space left for him, he at least has some good problem solving skills. ;)

As both parents and educators, Ben and I are deeply invested in the role of school for our kids. We are so thrilled and thankful that Harrison's first experiences have been so positive. For us this is not just a week of the calendar to check off or an obligatory gift; it really is all about appreciation and recognition for all the hard work HD's teachers have done for our son.

Much Love to all teachers, past, present, and yet-to-be, this week!

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Last year's gift was fun, too!