For some reason, I distinctly remember the last day of second grade. I remember being so excited for summer vacation to come - to play softball (and do all the other 100+ summer activities my mom so graciously carted us to each year) - to spend days at the beach - to read my little heart out at the library's Summer Reading Program...and with all of that greatness stretched out before me, when I was 8, the three months of summer seemed like an eternity. Shoot - just that morning of waiting to go to school for the last day of the year felt like forever. Flash forward 24 years, though, and that moment seems like more than a lifetime ago.
While I still have long mornings some days (hello, Tuesdays!), the three months that equal a typical summer break can now slip by before I even realize it, regardless of the time of year. All of a sudden it will occur to me that I haven't had a hair cut in a few months or I'll think that I just pulled out a new season of clothes for the kids to wear when in fact all of RL's pants are too short (OK, just the 18 mo. size, which they should be since she is two for pete's sake!) and HD's all have holes in the knees (no, seriously. the kid has two pairs of pants right now that are both long enough and hole-free - it's insane). Is that a sign of aging? When the days turn to weeks turn to months turn to years so quickly that you can hardly catch your breath, much less feel their enormity the way you once did?
Perhaps it is just my current season of life with so many littles. I realize that one day my world will be just like mom's used to be in the summer - running from here to there and from this to that constantly - so it's not like I expect life to slow down at all, but there's something about the frantic rate at which the children are growing and developing right now that has my head spinning. The new abilities (HD's independent play, RL's talking, LT's army crawling) and the milestones (HD starting the fourth quarter of his second year of preK, RL potty training herself, LT eating more solids) have all come so fast. Wasn't HD just learning to pull himself up on the furniture and RL trying yogurt (and loving it!) for the first time? As a friend asked this morning, didn't I just have Lincoln like a week ago? I realize I sound like a nostalgic ninny right now, but for seriously - how is it the end of March already? How are my babies growing so fast? Where does the ding-dang time GO?
Maybe I'm just distracted by life in general. The weeks really do fly by with teaching and play dates and Ben's meetings after school and yoga (I'm up to three classes a week now!). Every Sunday I load up our white board with menus and schedules for each day of the coming week and every Sunday we look at it and go, Whoa. Hold on to your hats, boys and girls! It's just that busy. So when you add in the insanity of the daily routine of feedings and naps and diaper changes and Angry Birds (on the Kindle, yes, but also throughout our house thanks to the plastic/plush figurines and this crazy game Ben made up where we "launch" the children in the dining room and they run circles through the house - it is fab for busting out pent-up winter energy!), no wonder I don't know where the last few months have gone. There's just been a lot on my plate. And there will continue to be so for forever and ever, amen, I hope, because to be this busy, to be spinning this many plates, means my house and my heart are full. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to spend my precious, fleeting time.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Just Me
Holy C.R.A.P. Today I am enjoying my first day to myself in, um, over five years. That is, my first day without Ben and the kids (and without being pregnant) and all by myself, rolling around town and rambling around the house and yeah. It's just me. And eight whole hours to do whatever I like (plus pumping, of course). Insane!
How did this day of awesome come to be? Well, the big kids are set to come back from the grandparental's today and the great grandparentals wanted to see the baby, so it occurred to me on Tuesday that I could actually make all that happen by letting Lincoln go with Ben while leaving myself at home. Little Dude now takes a bottle just fine, so why not pack some milk and send them on their way? Love my in-laws, yes I do, so it's not that I didn't want to see them and the Greats, but wow - a whole day to myself? Are you kidding me? That never happens (I wasn't kidding when I said five+ years since I have been a person alone w/o a person growing in my tummy for more than an hour or two). So, yes. I asked and Ben agreed and then this morning he left with Mr. Lincoln and will be home later with all three. I do the day in/day out with the munchkins all the time, so I know it's not easy, and I give him mad props for agreeing to this road trip adventure, especially on his first day off from school for the long weekend. In a way, though, this is a good test run for this summer as Ben has also agreed to send me off to Omaha for a month so I can get my yogi on to learn/stretch/grow, repeat, repeat, repeat. One day to wrangle the kids (while traveling) will be good practice for him!
So what, exactly, am I doing with my time? Well, besides enjoying a coffee (hello, caffeine, how I have missed you!) and writing, I went to yoga (new goal pose: wheel. Holy C.R.A.P. some more - tried it for the first time this morning and not entirely sure my back wants to bend that way, but patience and practice and I'll get there [and then I'll post a pic!]) and next I plan to take a nice long epsom salt bath. And then I'm going to read. And that's it. No cleaning. No laundry. Just a book and the sunshine and yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kiddos more than anything. They are the reason I do all the things. But to know myself and get some time in my own space and in my own head? I'm calling it the best early birthday present ever. Man, I love March! And yes, I have the best husband. I know this and I think he's awesome. Clearly he likes me, too. ;)
How did this day of awesome come to be? Well, the big kids are set to come back from the grandparental's today and the great grandparentals wanted to see the baby, so it occurred to me on Tuesday that I could actually make all that happen by letting Lincoln go with Ben while leaving myself at home. Little Dude now takes a bottle just fine, so why not pack some milk and send them on their way? Love my in-laws, yes I do, so it's not that I didn't want to see them and the Greats, but wow - a whole day to myself? Are you kidding me? That never happens (I wasn't kidding when I said five+ years since I have been a person alone w/o a person growing in my tummy for more than an hour or two). So, yes. I asked and Ben agreed and then this morning he left with Mr. Lincoln and will be home later with all three. I do the day in/day out with the munchkins all the time, so I know it's not easy, and I give him mad props for agreeing to this road trip adventure, especially on his first day off from school for the long weekend. In a way, though, this is a good test run for this summer as Ben has also agreed to send me off to Omaha for a month so I can get my yogi on to learn/stretch/grow, repeat, repeat, repeat. One day to wrangle the kids (while traveling) will be good practice for him!
So what, exactly, am I doing with my time? Well, besides enjoying a coffee (hello, caffeine, how I have missed you!) and writing, I went to yoga (new goal pose: wheel. Holy C.R.A.P. some more - tried it for the first time this morning and not entirely sure my back wants to bend that way, but patience and practice and I'll get there [and then I'll post a pic!]) and next I plan to take a nice long epsom salt bath. And then I'm going to read. And that's it. No cleaning. No laundry. Just a book and the sunshine and yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kiddos more than anything. They are the reason I do all the things. But to know myself and get some time in my own space and in my own head? I'm calling it the best early birthday present ever. Man, I love March! And yes, I have the best husband. I know this and I think he's awesome. Clearly he likes me, too. ;)
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Spring Break
In college, Spring Break means vacations. Exotic, or at least warm, destinations. Partying and whatnot. In real life, Spring Break means you're lucky if you get some help with the kids while there is no school for the majority of the week. As it turns out, I'm lucky.
For the first time since before Christmas, the Bigs are off to Grandma's again for a few days. And true to form, life with just Lincoln reminds me of why having one is as humbling as having seven. Thankfully, his sleep has not been as erratic as last time, but I swear, there are some real obvious changes in the atmosphere here when we're down to just one babe in the house.
For one, I seem to hear more of the fussies. Is that because LT misses the entertainment and distraction of HD and RL? Probably. It seems like on a normal day, I can set him on the floor and walk away just fine. Sure he might fuss for a second, but then he starts playing with a nearby toy or watches the Bigs playing with toys and calms down pretty quickly. But when it's just the two of us in the house? Apparently Little Man gets lonely, because if I try to step away for a second to - heaven forbid! - use the bathroom by myself, he gets so upset! I can totally tell he is thinking: Where are the all of the faces and what happened to all of the noise?! It is too quiet, so fussies must commence!
Maybe it's just me. Maybe my head is spinning less when I'm not trying to juggle the schedules and napping and bathroom and eating habits of three Littles all day long, so I just think there are more fussies when I'm down to just one. Could that be? Some of The Best Advice a friend gave me when Lincoln was born (she'd just had her third earlier that summer) was that it was OK for there to be more. More crying. More TV. More whatever works for dinner. Totally, totally OK. And I think of those sage words almost every day when it does seem like I'm just spinning from one task to the next. More fussies are OK because more love is happening all the time, too. Being here, spinning my plates in the Great Mama Circus is more love than I have ever known. And if a few fussies have to be had occasionally, so be it, because thankfully I'm aware of all the good happening right now, too.
Good like having a beautiful March day of mid-70s yesterday and getting to spend time outside with Harrison before he and Raegan left. Good like having him crawl into my lap numerous times as I sat on the ground soaking up glorious sunshine and telling me that he was going to miss me while he was gone. Good like watching Raegan be a little mama to Lincoln, telling him "It's OK! It's OK! I hear you, Buddy. I'm here Little Buddy!" while he was crying (See! He does fuss when they are here!). Good like getting to bask in the sun yet again after Lincoln's second nap and watch his eyes light up with wonder as the breeze blew in his hair and his fingers found the trying-to-turn-green-again-hallelujah! grass. I mean, seriously. Look at this face. I think anyone can forgive a few fussies when you get grins like this:
For the first time since before Christmas, the Bigs are off to Grandma's again for a few days. And true to form, life with just Lincoln reminds me of why having one is as humbling as having seven. Thankfully, his sleep has not been as erratic as last time, but I swear, there are some real obvious changes in the atmosphere here when we're down to just one babe in the house.
For one, I seem to hear more of the fussies. Is that because LT misses the entertainment and distraction of HD and RL? Probably. It seems like on a normal day, I can set him on the floor and walk away just fine. Sure he might fuss for a second, but then he starts playing with a nearby toy or watches the Bigs playing with toys and calms down pretty quickly. But when it's just the two of us in the house? Apparently Little Man gets lonely, because if I try to step away for a second to - heaven forbid! - use the bathroom by myself, he gets so upset! I can totally tell he is thinking: Where are the all of the faces and what happened to all of the noise?! It is too quiet, so fussies must commence!
Maybe it's just me. Maybe my head is spinning less when I'm not trying to juggle the schedules and napping and bathroom and eating habits of three Littles all day long, so I just think there are more fussies when I'm down to just one. Could that be? Some of The Best Advice a friend gave me when Lincoln was born (she'd just had her third earlier that summer) was that it was OK for there to be more. More crying. More TV. More whatever works for dinner. Totally, totally OK. And I think of those sage words almost every day when it does seem like I'm just spinning from one task to the next. More fussies are OK because more love is happening all the time, too. Being here, spinning my plates in the Great Mama Circus is more love than I have ever known. And if a few fussies have to be had occasionally, so be it, because thankfully I'm aware of all the good happening right now, too.
Good like having a beautiful March day of mid-70s yesterday and getting to spend time outside with Harrison before he and Raegan left. Good like having him crawl into my lap numerous times as I sat on the ground soaking up glorious sunshine and telling me that he was going to miss me while he was gone. Good like watching Raegan be a little mama to Lincoln, telling him "It's OK! It's OK! I hear you, Buddy. I'm here Little Buddy!" while he was crying (See! He does fuss when they are here!). Good like getting to bask in the sun yet again after Lincoln's second nap and watch his eyes light up with wonder as the breeze blew in his hair and his fingers found the trying-to-turn-green-again-hallelujah! grass. I mean, seriously. Look at this face. I think anyone can forgive a few fussies when you get grins like this:
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Making it Happen
A few months ago, I mentioned in a blog post that I wanted to become a yoga instructor by the time I turned 42 (i.e. ten+ years from now). Remember that? It was a generous time span in which I could do All The Things and eventually find a way to share something I love with others. Well, apparently there's this thing about the universe that when you put your intentions out there, the stars sometimes align sooner than you expect. And as a result of such alignment, it looks like I might be making it happen while I'm 32 instead. So at the hope/risk of making those stars really come into being, let me tell you more.
It looks like I might be able to do my 200 hour yoga certification this summer. As in, by August 1, I would have the bulk of my work done and would be thisclose to being able to teach.
Even though my family and friends have been so supportive of this yoga journey of mine, I had no intention of making certification happen so soon. But then, in January I learned that The Lotus House of Yoga in Omaha offers seven month courses and one month intensive trainings, too, where you spend four weeks doing classes, etc. M-F, all day to get it all done. When I investigated further, I learned that their summer intensive this year just so happens to align perfectly to fall between my summer session of teaching at CCC and when Ben goes back to school in August. I can even make my mama goal of nursing LT for the full first year (and then I'll take my pump with me and hope on a wing and a prayer that I can keep bringing milk back every weekend during this wild and crazy adventure). And so it all just seems quite perfect. Quite meant to be.
Truth? I'm not sure I'm ready. Real truth? I don't think I'm ready. I feel like I should deepen my own practice more. Try more styles. Perfect more poses. Then I should become an instructor. But that's the beauty of yoga (and this precious whirlwind known as life) - there is no perfect. There is only your practice, and for some yogis, doing a 200 hour program is simply a way to deepen their practice. So the beauty of this experience will be that even if I don't feel quite ready to teach, I will be accomplishing both - growing in my own way on the mat and being one step closer to reaching others on the mat, too. Also, my very wise husband pointed out that life is never going to get less busy, so if the opportunity has presented itself to make it happen now, and not in ten years when our kids are involved with every activity under the sun, why not give it a go?
I am so, so grateful to my local studio for inspiring this leap. Avani has created such an amazing light in this community and in me. Every time I attend a class, I learn something new - about myself, about yoga, or about both. Without their help and guidance, I would not even be considering this possibility right now, but again, sometimes you put an idea out there and you get the feedback you need to make it happen. So I think it's awesome that I will get to train at the same place they did. And that I have a husband who is willing to fly solo with the kids for the better part of four weeks. And friends who helped me assuage the mommy-guilt about being gone, are willing to house me while I'm away, and will help my hubby entertain the munchkins in my absence. And family who are willing to help me pull off two birthdays in July, to boot. And all of you who will follow along, will keep me accountable and will keep me going, too! Seriously. I am surrounded by amazing people. And because of all of you, I get to do amazing things.
So while the 13-yr-old in me hems and haws and wonders if I can make it all happen, the 31-going-on-32-yr-old thinks, Hot Dang. I am making it happen!
It looks like I might be able to do my 200 hour yoga certification this summer. As in, by August 1, I would have the bulk of my work done and would be thisclose to being able to teach.
Even though my family and friends have been so supportive of this yoga journey of mine, I had no intention of making certification happen so soon. But then, in January I learned that The Lotus House of Yoga in Omaha offers seven month courses and one month intensive trainings, too, where you spend four weeks doing classes, etc. M-F, all day to get it all done. When I investigated further, I learned that their summer intensive this year just so happens to align perfectly to fall between my summer session of teaching at CCC and when Ben goes back to school in August. I can even make my mama goal of nursing LT for the full first year (and then I'll take my pump with me and hope on a wing and a prayer that I can keep bringing milk back every weekend during this wild and crazy adventure). And so it all just seems quite perfect. Quite meant to be.
Truth? I'm not sure I'm ready. Real truth? I don't think I'm ready. I feel like I should deepen my own practice more. Try more styles. Perfect more poses. Then I should become an instructor. But that's the beauty of yoga (and this precious whirlwind known as life) - there is no perfect. There is only your practice, and for some yogis, doing a 200 hour program is simply a way to deepen their practice. So the beauty of this experience will be that even if I don't feel quite ready to teach, I will be accomplishing both - growing in my own way on the mat and being one step closer to reaching others on the mat, too. Also, my very wise husband pointed out that life is never going to get less busy, so if the opportunity has presented itself to make it happen now, and not in ten years when our kids are involved with every activity under the sun, why not give it a go?
I am so, so grateful to my local studio for inspiring this leap. Avani has created such an amazing light in this community and in me. Every time I attend a class, I learn something new - about myself, about yoga, or about both. Without their help and guidance, I would not even be considering this possibility right now, but again, sometimes you put an idea out there and you get the feedback you need to make it happen. So I think it's awesome that I will get to train at the same place they did. And that I have a husband who is willing to fly solo with the kids for the better part of four weeks. And friends who helped me assuage the mommy-guilt about being gone, are willing to house me while I'm away, and will help my hubby entertain the munchkins in my absence. And family who are willing to help me pull off two birthdays in July, to boot. And all of you who will follow along, will keep me accountable and will keep me going, too! Seriously. I am surrounded by amazing people. And because of all of you, I get to do amazing things.
So while the 13-yr-old in me hems and haws and wonders if I can make it all happen, the 31-going-on-32-yr-old thinks, Hot Dang. I am making it happen!
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