Left of Right

Whoa. My mind is a little bit blown right now. We just gone done with a session on energy lines, the nadis, that run through our left and right sides and our centers. We also had a practice in the middle of the morning that was literally opening and put together some serious stuff for me.

One: I cannot breathe worth a darn through my left side. Left is the yin side, the dark side (not in a Star Wars way, thanks), the moon side. The right is your yang - your active, light, sun side.
This leads to Two, which is: the focus of my energy does not equate with my personality preferences, at least not the ones I'd like it to on a regular basis.

Because I've always known I'm an introvert, I've always assumed my moon and calm side was stronger, too. I like quiet. I like peaceful moments. Except then you add my brain into the equation and holy wow, I struggle to breathe out of my left nostril! I struggle to focus on the calm! (notice I did not say "can't" here, though). My sun side - my active energy - is ALL over the place. My thoughts are jumping and bouncing, my brain is always looking for the next item to check off the almighty To Do list. No freaking wonder I have such issues with sleep! Because my Pingala side is sort of constantly (OK, really all the time) going, I have a much harder time connecting with my Ida. I see this in my breath, I see this in my anxiety levels, I see this in my sleep. All the time. (I also see it in the scattered way I am writing this post, but there you have it (me) on Day Four of YTT).

The beautiful thing about this yoga, this life, is that I know how powerful the mind is and that through intention and practice, I can improve. It may take my entire lifetime (and maybe more?) to get there, but I will keep trying. I can set my mind on opening my left side, of building its strength to in turn build my balance, my center. I can totally do that. I do not expect it to come easily or immediately. But by choosing not to say "can't" or "never" I can know that I will get there. And just as I can now (sometimes) move my feet from forward fold to plank without "scratching the record" I will train my body to open to the yin (and who doesn't want to practice more yin?). I will come left of right to find my (right) balance.