The Edge

In yoga (ermigerd, are you so sick of me talking about this yet? because you know it is only going to continue, right? this blog has officially become part mama/part yogi in nature, which is fitting since that's totally me now, too.) my instructors often talk about working with your "edge" - this place in each move where you push your body and experiment with your asana but one in which you also listen to and honor your body. When you push too hard, too far, ego is creeping in and you can go over the edge (physically or mentally) and injure yourself (physically or mentally). The edge is good to play with because it is how you grow, but you've got to keep pride and ego out of it to avoid those downfalls, and this takes practice.

Apparently Week Two of Yoga School (have I explained to you that this is how I explained this month to my kids and that's why I keep calling it that? my mind is a little mushy from all the learning, and with the sudden increase of posts, I don't always remember what I've written and what's still just swirling around my brain. and ermigerd, again....this aside got long!) is all about me practicing with my edge. As you read yesterday, a simple asana adjustment brought me to an emotional edge. I didn't totally tip over it but I felt its weight a great deal for a long time throughout the day. Thankfully, in talking to my teacher about it, I realized that my reaction was totally legit because in that moment on the teaching mat, I had a release of energy and with it came the release of emotion. Makes total sense.

Today was edgy in its own way with an intense lesson on the LHOY Master Flow in which we practiced a ton of moves and Sanskrit. Actually, it wasn't a ton of moves and Sanskrit; it was a contained set of poses and words, but we did them so many times that it just wore me out. Does that make me sound old? Because I don't feel old, even though at least half of my group is probably 8-10 years younger than I am. What it makes me feel is full. My brain was so full this morning because I came to my edge of poses + practice + parsvakonasanas (etc.). And that's OK. When I push through the full moments, I find appreciation for the quiet, empty moments that follow IF I allow myself to see them. And when I set my ego aside, I realize I can see them and I don't have to conquer the (yoga) world in one day. I have time to do all of my extra classes and additional requirements. It is OK to step back, breath, and just absorb everything that's been given to me in one day. So I'm exploring that edge - pushing myself but also reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and honey, I'm in for the wonderful long-haul on this.