Just this week I shared with you that I am striving to find a new way to look at myself, at my body specifically. Just as I want to view my day-to-day as full rather than crazy, I wanted to view my body as something other than flawed, but wasn't sure what to call it. But here's the beauty of the Universe... when you put a question or a desire out there, an answer is going to come. And my "what word do I use?" question had an answer within hours of being asked on Wednesday.
For the first time since my new - full - schedule began this fall, I actually made it to the studio to take a yoga class before teaching one at the Y later that night. It was awesome. We worked hard on the mat, got a good sweat going, and then chilled it out with my all-time fave, Legs up the Wall at the end of class. And wouldn't you know it? Just as we settled into the pose, the music changed and I got my answer, again, through song. This time it was the India Arie song - "I am Light" (and OMG, I now see that the video even has animated yoga!):
Remember the lesson about already having everything I needed inside to be a yoga teacher? Well, I already knew this answer, too, as this song was not new to me on Wednesday. It was another summer discovery and I even used it on the exact same open-heart-love-yourself playlist that I taught a few weeks ago that also included "Try." But the minute I heard "I am Light" in that class, little tears popped into the corners of my eyes (surprise!), and I knew I had my answer. Light. That is what I desire to carry in my heart and on my face; that is what I want to be and to see. And no, not light as in weight. Light as in radiant joy. If I focus on that light, instead of what my stomach or arms or thighs look like in pictures, then I really will learn how to shine.
Seeing as the Universe just keeps giving, I found out yesterday that for the first time, the LHOY prenatal module is going to include body image, too. Our teacher shared this link via Upworthy with us and I watched, nodding along and thinking, "Yes. This is it. Now is the time." I am ready and open to receive and I cannot wait to be done with the body issues.
Now, of course making this decision and having this phrase "I am light" do not make me instantly healed. Instantly above caring what I look like or what I look to others/in pictures/etc. But the decision and the phrase do give me the power to start changing my patterns of thought, and in time, those changes will become my norm. Eventually I'll be able to look at pictures of myself and see light radiating from within instead of just my human perceptions of flaws, because that's just it - my body - your body - it is all divinely made and nothing divine is done by mistake.
In another bit of divine alignment, I had an excellent conversation (OK, message exchange because let's face it, we were both at our respective houses yesterday with our respective Littles) with a friend yesterday afternoon about timing. I made the comment that it mystifies me when the stars align and people tell me after a yoga class that it was exactly what they needed, but she said there's nothing mystical or random about it. It's just the Universe bringing people together who are ready to be open, ready to receive. So no wonder this weekend is going to be all about the beauty and power of the female body and about accepting and loving our bodies. It's exactly what I need right now, exactly what will help me change my old thinking habits.
Right time, right place? Asked and answered? You bet.
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